One FLU Over the Cuckoo's Nest

This is not a complaint or a whiny post!  Please keep reading.  =)

So, those around me have known that I have been sick for quite sometime.  This has been particularly hard for me as I live in mortal fear of calling in sick, being sick, being around sick people, etc.

Anyway... I'm going on day 50 of running a fever or elevated temp and the crap feeling along with it like: having swollen glands, aches, and exhaustion.  This has been my worst illness ever.  I had mono in college, that was 2nd worst.  I feel like cussing, crying, complaining... but I haven't done that at all (just kidding).  I'll say it... this is bullship, I've been known to whine and get frustrated, but I kept it to a minimum (hubby got the brunt of my storm).  My bff (hubby), my brother and sister, my bff in Costa Rica, and my dear work friends know my most complaints and strong desire to be well again.  I was out of the office for a whole month!  But praise God I was able to work from home and out of that month used about 50 hours of sick time (not the 160 hours I probably should have used) .  I probably didn't do myself any favors by not completely resting, but I can't not work! And I also have a hard time asking my co-workers to do my job.  As it is, my team stepped in a few times and really helped my missionaries and had to help me with paperwork for a department not completely paperless yet.  I'm SO grateful.

BUT... can I share that my time at home, by myself, was just what I needed!  Some self discovery is always a good thing (good or bad). I was able to play praise and worship while I worked.  I could work in my slippers and under a blanket.  I even got a fire on days my hubby was home.  (little things that gave me joy while I was feeling so horrible).  But my time with God was solid.  He put me in a wilderness to prepare me for what's coming next in my life.  The warfare has been intense, but so was the presence of my amazing Father God.  Even more self-discovery ensued over this month at home and along with that, deep repentance.

This season has not left me unscathed, but I remained unmoved from my God, my redeemer.

Shaken, not stirred.

To get this a bit lighter and to be an encouragement, I created a little list of some random revelations while I was home and the month of February went by me.   I know that God knew I could handle this and did this for my good.  He revealed truths to me and showed me to not have doubts on how tight we are.

Random revelations during my quiet few weeks: 

• I can't thrive in a noisy or negative environment
• I love antiquing for HOURS (can't wait to hit it this spring)
• I enjoy car rides with honey and my daughter that involve fun and deep conversations.  I also enjoy when times are quiet because I'm with them.  
• I have to really be in the mood to shop (random shopping) and that mood rarely strikes. (it strikes in the form of grocery because I'm hungry and of course when it's to go antiquing)  
• I'm an ambivert (it's a thing) but I keep testing as an extrovert.  I refresh with quiet and solitude as well as external sources of nature and music.  I can, at times, draw energy from legitimately energetic people and people on fire for Jesus.   
• I have been blessed with a pretty strong gift of discernment.  I thought I had kinda lost the gift or was missing it.  Discernment doesn't always feel like a blessing, but my spirit knows.  My first impressions are usually correct, I feel the general atmosphere (like if the stress level is high within a group, I feel it and it weighs me down big time, when people come to me to vent, I discern what's deeper)  it's exhausting.  I know when people are lying or not being up front with me, and if I feel like people are speaking crap about me, I'm usually correct.  God allowed many confirmations over the past 6 weeks of things I was "feeling" in my spirit.  He confirmed that I still have it and that I'm hearing from Him.  
• I re-read this and I'm in dire need of rest to get better.  This cuckoo is OVER the flu.  

See my most recent update from 7/4/18 if you're interested HERE 

STILL!  

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5 Things I've Learned While I've Had The Flu

5 Things I've learned while I've been sick with the flu

my bitmoji 

1.  No amounts of hand washing, vitamin taking, hand sanitizing, eating healthy, and exercise efforts made me immune.  The flu found me and all of the stars were in perfect alignment... it got me!

Honey and I have been so careful this flu season!  We wash down the carts at the stores with the wipes available.  We have hand sanitizer in the car for as soon as we are done shopping, pumping gas, or reviewing a menu (if we eat out).  We've hardly even eaten out this flu season. We wash up after we put the groceries away.  Wash our hands at work often.  We've taken our supplements.  I eat healthy for the most part.  I've been exercising 5 -6 days a week since mid November (a pretty good accomplishment until 2 weeks ago).  Well, the flu evidently hunted me down and found me.  I got hit while I was separate from hubby or he was the carrier ( he's been subbing at a middle school).  He's luckily been fine but I am on day 16 of a relentless fever from a stomach virus (flu).  I have been trying not to complain and whine, but I'm pretty tired of feeling like poop. 

2.  Jesus, my hubby, and my daughter are truly my very best friends.  

Not much I can add to this.  Other than they love me unconditionally, they want me to get better, and I'm not being judged by them.  

3.  I can handle and immensely enjoy quiet and alone time.

There is clarity in quiet AND with being alone.  As I've taken the past year or so to really, I mean REALLY get to know me better, I've come to some realizations that have been challenging and difficult.  But in my coherent times the past 2 weeks, I've been praying for the courage to stay true to me.  Some may feel that I'm selfish, but in my 48 years, I've just started putting myself first here and there and I'm finally realizing that it's okay to take care of me and I have an opinion and preferences on how I spend my off time or tired time.  I also shouldn't feel guilty about it either.  I have also been praying for the strength to hold solid boundaries that protect my family time, rest time, creative time, and quiet time.  We moved up here, away from everything, to accomplish that.  How and why did I allow myself to lose sight of that?  Our relationship with God is priority, then our marriage and our kids are next.  People laugh at me when I state that honey and I are newlyweds (5 years this June).  But I've got news for them.  As we continue to keep our marriage a priority, we'll stay newlyweds forever.  I don't see how that can change.  And our kids may be grown but they are still our babies and our pride and joy.  They will always get our 100%.  

Alone and quiet times  are POWERFUL.  If only I felt better while I was home, I could have gotten so much done, so much written, maybe some creative things done.  But God was wanting me to spend time with Him. I'm glad I didn't avoid Him or make excuses not to be with Him.  After all, I'm His priority!  This time alone and quiet has been healing more than the flu.  

4.  What other people are thinking of me, is none of my business

One of my spiritual gifts is discernment.  I know what people are saying and thinking, but regardless, I need to ignore it.  I know me, God knows me, and we all agree that I'm pretty awesome but maybe not your cup of tea.  That's okay!  

5.  I have grown by leaps and bounds over the past few years and I am still hungry for further growth.  

I've been able to take a few minutes to seek out new podcasts, put books on the wishlist, and when coherent, get a little reading done.  As I discover what makes me tick, not tick at times, or get ticked off , I'm determined to be a better me.  Not just for me, but for my family, those I come into contact with, and those I serve with.  There's still a God-given purpose for my life.  I've yet to discover it.  I know it's got to be bigger than going to work, paying the bills, doing the laundry, cooking supper, cleaning up supper, going to bed and starting over again. I also know it's not to fill voids in other people that need to fill their voids with God.  I am hungry to pursue more of Him and more knowledge to discover His purpose.  

I edited this tonight and thought I'd add... what are your sure fire remedies for breaking a fever?  This flu has ended up being the "fight of the fever".  17 days so far!

Update:  I started flu symptoms 1/29/18... today 7/4/18, I think I've finally beaten the fever for the most part but still struggle with the fatigue and swollen glands.  The aches and pains are minimal due to new supplementation that I started in late March.  I've had several tests done and was sent to an ENT to see if any scans might be needed to pursue ruling out lymphoma.  A scary time for me.  His only conclusion is that I had the B strain flu which can take up to a year to recover.  This appointment was near the end of April.  I'm thankful to God for the handful of people that still know I'm not 100% yet and continue to check on me and be patient with me.  I've not reached out to many, but those that continue to reach out to me are golden.  Honestly, the rest of my "friends"... well, that's the end of that season and it's totally fine with me.  I've continued to work full time with this as well as mine and hubby's side businesses.  We've also traveled here and there so I'm not missing out on life.  I'll enjoy life regardless!  My relationship with God has continued to grow stronger and although I've had setbacks due to not being able to get rest or because I don't take the time to rest, I'm determined to not give up or grow bitter. Every day I become a bit stronger and I'm back on the treadmill once or twice a week now.  It's hard, but eventually, I'll be back up to my 5 - 6 days!  I actually can't wait!  I'm very thankful to the One who sustains me and the loved ones that continue to love me.  To God be the glory!

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10 MORE Things To Do When You Are STILL Sick

Well, as my loyal 5 readers (I appreciate YOU!) could tell... I have been too sick to even blog!  I love my blog therapy.  It makes me happy... but this "cold" has knocked me for a loop.  Honey had a relapse and although he's still coughing, I think he's finally on the mend (on day 8 for him).

I started a fever again, at work, yesterday and it continued this morning.  As I'm somewhat delirious, I thought I'd try something constructive to re-focus.

So... here are 10 more things to do when you are still sick.

1.  Still drink lots and try to eat
2.  Blog, color, journal (whatever art therapy works)
3.  Give up on the EmergenCs
4.  Continue to take your vitamins
5.  Read, but actually focus on your reading since a few days ago, reading was too hard.
6.  Call in sick
7.  Actually have that Netflix binge that you fell asleep through a few days ago.
8.  Keep enjoying popsicles
9.  Stop complaining out loud
10.  Bombard everyone's facebook feed with positive affirmations.

Bonus:  Try NOT to stress about the housework being even farther behind than it was before you got sick.    (it's worth a shot)

Extra bonus:  Realize you are faaareezing and go make some cocoa and get back in bed!

I said, "Go back to bed!"

hugs to you!

10 Things to do When You Are Sick

10 Things to do when you are sick:

1.  Drink lots
2.  Because you drank lots, get up and tinkle lots
3.  Get your Hay Day farm cleaned up and actually complete a derby task
4.  Read
5.  Try to eat a little and take your vitamins
6.  Enjoy the down time.  Otherwise, you may not have gotten this much needed quiet time.
7.  Have a Netflix binge.
8.  Enjoy Popsicles
9.  Complain
10.  Get off your pity pot and get some rest so you are better tomorrow!
11.  Get caught up on Social Media, because you know how important that is!

Getting caught up on social media

My list of 10 includes 11 items.  You can delete 1 to make it 10.

"Honey, can I get more nyquil?"

What do you do when you are sick?

Sick in Bed...

Honey and I have been sick in bed most of the day.  Upper respiratory, sinus junk, achy, queasy... yuck..

I made us chicken soup today, loaded with onions and garlic.  We hope that will scare off what is ailing us.  Maybe we'll feel better tomorrow.

If the soup comes out okay, I'll share a recipe, rather than a full how-to.  I was too puny to take any pics today.  It was easy though as I'm fairly weak.  BLEH!  I did get about a 30 minute nap somewhere around 3pm though!

Praying you are well and stay healthy!