When's the Last Time You REALLY Took a Day OFF?

I evidently struck a chord or a nerve with my Facebook post about a while back.  It's not an eloquent post nor grammatically correct but my fb friends caught my drift and even commented that I was on the right track or they too struggle with this.

I'll share it with you in a second, but I just wanted to ask you, "When is the last time you really took a day OFF?".  Off, meaning, not driving to the office, working on your side hustle, running errands you don't necessarily have the time and energy for on the weekdays, or scraping the endurance to meet obligations.  When is the last time you said, "no."

Or is this just my life?

We now have an empty nest.  But we paid our dues of juggling the job, kid's activities, volunteering, church committees, squeezing in quality time with the family and God, socializing, etc.  I've found that although my actual commitments have decreased, the demands on my time have not.  Whose fault is that?  Well... it's my fault!  

I actually have more time available to pursue, well, stuff that I want to.  But somehow I don't have the energy to do it!  I've also put my dreams and "stuff" on hold for so long, I don't even remember what I wanted to do.

Well time is precious my friends and my time is precious as well.  Not only that, my time is MY TIME, not anyone else's.  The same goes for you friends!  Your time is just that... YOURS!

So what does this mean moving forward?  You guessed it, BOUNDARIES!  Healthy ones at that.  Along with boundaries, I need to set my priorities.  God, Family, Me, Career, pursuit of my dreams, fun, then friends or anything else.  I also need to realize that priorities will change, as I change and grow.  Some things in my life might not come along for that journey and that's okay.  God is the only thing unchanging.  I Can say, "no" and I don't have to offer the reason.  Neither do you!

I don't skip a beat and I try not to complain but I finally crashed and I am now in the have been in a  period of digging my way out of burnout.  This day OFF was just what I needed and after a small taste, I'm craving more!

So here is my post: 

I'd love to hear some comments on this.  Have you found yourself in burnout because you can't say "no" and needing a real day OFF?    

Life Balance. Is it Even Possible?

But HOW???

Y'all life has just gotten a bit out of control busy for me lately.

It's my own fault.  After all, I control my day right? (insert little snicker here for the non independently wealthy rebel in me)

I'm weary but I'm not sure where to cut corners any more than I already have.

Do you ever feel like the things that you are busy with are non negotiable but yet you are drowning?

I mean like... I HAVE to work and I also have to work a few extra jobs right now.  My work includes a side business that I hope one day will replace one of my existing jobs so I only need to work at one job.    I struggle with letting go because I love my part time stuff and I enjoy what I'm doing so they don't always feel like work, but they do chip away at time.  Regardless, I like to eat and being a paycheck to paycheck couple, the extra work helps us eat!  =)

I get it, we all have the same 24 hours a day, but a few hours of sleep is just not enough anymore.  When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I could go to school in the morning, work in the afternoon, go back to night classes, stay up late studying, go to bed at 2 or 3am, get up at 6 or 7am and do it all over again... then work double shifts on weekends.    I also managed life working full time, as a single mom, with a busy dancing daughter (I was very involved in her dance company and booster club at school) and I came through only a little weary.  Now at almost 50, I'm just tired!  Ha ha.

Just to kinda keep it real on the budgeting time thing... I started writing this post on 1/29/19.  Today is 5/2/19!

Being a bit contrary to what I'm writing about, I'm happy to report that I squeezed into the schedule a much needed item.  Exercise.  Since November, I started getting up about 30 minutes earlier to make time for fitness of some sort.  I was trying to do this after work but my workload and workday changed a bit and I don't get home until after 6pm, sometimes closer to 7 now.  After we eat, it's about an hour and half shy of bed time or I need to work one of my extra jobs.  Fitness after work isn't an option right now.  BUT, I was shocked at how different exercise first thing in the morning changed my attitude toward exercise.  I was getting on the treadmill for like 50 minutes after work.  I'd get off the treadmill starving and even more exhausted than ever.  With doing shorter fitness time in the morning (20 minutes pilates, 20 minutes elliptical, 30 minutes treadmill, or 30 minutes callanetics), I found that yes, I'm still ready for breakfast almost immediately, but I'm not getting that super tired feeling anymore after exercising.  I still haven't discovered the (exercise makes me so happy) feeling but I might get there!  This was a necessity that I have fit in and isn't really a smart option to remove from the schedule.

So I really need to "tidy" up the schedule.  Hubby has since started a part time job at a state park.  This is great because we'll have a little extra income coming in the summer when the substitute teaching well is dry.  But it's one more thing on the schedule and he only gets those weekly... so planning ahead may be a challenge.

I KNOW I'm not the only one in this boat.   Not only am I physically tired, I'm tired of being too tired to enjoy things in most of my spare time or being too tired to even thing of what might be enjoyable in our spare time.

I miss being creative in the kitchen.  I love to cook and create new recipes and share them here, but the desire to get through the week in one pieces has overridden that creative spark in me.  The other issue I have faced which grieves me the most, is that although my almost 3 hours of the day, spent in the car to drive to work, are spent with Christian sermons, leadership podcasts, and only positive stuff... I miss having quiet time with the Lord.  How did I get THAT out of balance.  I mean, I'm with Him, and stop to pray often during my drive, but I've got to focus on the road too.  I do pray throughout the day, but I used to be a faithful journaler.  I'd get up every morning, sit in my prayer chair, read some scripture, then journal.

This is not a post that gives you the tips on how I've arrived at a perfect balance with life like everyone around me seems to have done.  This is actually a post that is asking for YOUR tips.    Maybe I'll get some good ideas from y'all and we can create a help post for other folks out there struggling with balance!

Things I've considered and tried

Using a Planner:
I need to actually utilize the planner that I purchase every year.  I was off to a good start, but April got lost.  I mean really lost!    Hubby and I plan to sit down this month and look at our schedules to make sure EVERYTHING is on there. (white space so we can be quiet and sit with the Lord, together time with no distractions, my spare jobs times, his time to work on his woodworking, my time to work on my business, his time to speak with his family, rest -(is it sad we need to put rest on our calendars?).  My problem.  I'm spontaneous and the planner has always seemed so stifling.  (reality... I'm not that organized).

Meal Planning:
Ordering ready made delivery meals for 1 or 2 days a week.  I think Freshly is one of the overpriced services that it's ready to pop in the microwave.  I don't want a meal kit.  I can prepare stuff on my own on days I have time.  Any recommendations here?  I do normally plan our meals ahead and cook larger meals to plan leftovers, but sometimes the week can run you more than you run it and that big meal gets delayed a day or two.  My ego is hard on this one too because I feel like it's a cop out since I do really enjoy cooking and I could take more of my 1 day off a week to work in the kitchen, but choose not to.  Although pricey, I think taking my 1 day off for a DAY OFF is a smarter use of that time.

Accountability:
Really sitting down with someone to find some order in the chaos and finding out what exactly my priorities and goals are.  If I drill down with someone, maybe I can find out what am I spinning my wheels on and what needs to be a keeper.  Right now everything seems like keepers.  I'm just finding I'm not physically capable of keeping it all without order.

Changing errand day:
I am blessed to work from home 1 day a week.  We've started disciplining ourselves to make that grocery shopping and errand night since once I finish work... I'm home and we have a few hours before supper to get some stuff done.  This has freed up our "off work" time so we aren't so worn out after Sunday to start the week.

That's all I've got!

YOUR turn!

Please help by commenting or emailing me.  

Maybe I should be taking my own advice!

5 Things I've Learned While I've Had The Flu

5 Things I've learned while I've been sick with the flu

my bitmoji 

1.  No amounts of hand washing, vitamin taking, hand sanitizing, eating healthy, and exercise efforts made me immune.  The flu found me and all of the stars were in perfect alignment... it got me!

Honey and I have been so careful this flu season!  We wash down the carts at the stores with the wipes available.  We have hand sanitizer in the car for as soon as we are done shopping, pumping gas, or reviewing a menu (if we eat out).  We've hardly even eaten out this flu season. We wash up after we put the groceries away.  Wash our hands at work often.  We've taken our supplements.  I eat healthy for the most part.  I've been exercising 5 -6 days a week since mid November (a pretty good accomplishment until 2 weeks ago).  Well, the flu evidently hunted me down and found me.  I got hit while I was separate from hubby or he was the carrier ( he's been subbing at a middle school).  He's luckily been fine but I am on day 16 of a relentless fever from a stomach virus (flu).  I have been trying not to complain and whine, but I'm pretty tired of feeling like poop. 

2.  Jesus, my hubby, and my daughter are truly my very best friends.  

Not much I can add to this.  Other than they love me unconditionally, they want me to get better, and I'm not being judged by them.  

3.  I can handle and immensely enjoy quiet and alone time.

There is clarity in quiet AND with being alone.  As I've taken the past year or so to really, I mean REALLY get to know me better, I've come to some realizations that have been challenging and difficult.  But in my coherent times the past 2 weeks, I've been praying for the courage to stay true to me.  Some may feel that I'm selfish, but in my 48 years, I've just started putting myself first here and there and I'm finally realizing that it's okay to take care of me and I have an opinion and preferences on how I spend my off time or tired time.  I also shouldn't feel guilty about it either.  I have also been praying for the strength to hold solid boundaries that protect my family time, rest time, creative time, and quiet time.  We moved up here, away from everything, to accomplish that.  How and why did I allow myself to lose sight of that?  Our relationship with God is priority, then our marriage and our kids are next.  People laugh at me when I state that honey and I are newlyweds (5 years this June).  But I've got news for them.  As we continue to keep our marriage a priority, we'll stay newlyweds forever.  I don't see how that can change.  And our kids may be grown but they are still our babies and our pride and joy.  They will always get our 100%.  

Alone and quiet times  are POWERFUL.  If only I felt better while I was home, I could have gotten so much done, so much written, maybe some creative things done.  But God was wanting me to spend time with Him. I'm glad I didn't avoid Him or make excuses not to be with Him.  After all, I'm His priority!  This time alone and quiet has been healing more than the flu.  

4.  What other people are thinking of me, is none of my business

One of my spiritual gifts is discernment.  I know what people are saying and thinking, but regardless, I need to ignore it.  I know me, God knows me, and we all agree that I'm pretty awesome but maybe not your cup of tea.  That's okay!  

5.  I have grown by leaps and bounds over the past few years and I am still hungry for further growth.  

I've been able to take a few minutes to seek out new podcasts, put books on the wishlist, and when coherent, get a little reading done.  As I discover what makes me tick, not tick at times, or get ticked off , I'm determined to be a better me.  Not just for me, but for my family, those I come into contact with, and those I serve with.  There's still a God-given purpose for my life.  I've yet to discover it.  I know it's got to be bigger than going to work, paying the bills, doing the laundry, cooking supper, cleaning up supper, going to bed and starting over again. I also know it's not to fill voids in other people that need to fill their voids with God.  I am hungry to pursue more of Him and more knowledge to discover His purpose.  

I edited this tonight and thought I'd add... what are your sure fire remedies for breaking a fever?  This flu has ended up being the "fight of the fever".  17 days so far!

Update:  I started flu symptoms 1/29/18... today 7/4/18, I think I've finally beaten the fever for the most part but still struggle with the fatigue and swollen glands.  The aches and pains are minimal due to new supplementation that I started in late March.  I've had several tests done and was sent to an ENT to see if any scans might be needed to pursue ruling out lymphoma.  A scary time for me.  His only conclusion is that I had the B strain flu which can take up to a year to recover.  This appointment was near the end of April.  I'm thankful to God for the handful of people that still know I'm not 100% yet and continue to check on me and be patient with me.  I've not reached out to many, but those that continue to reach out to me are golden.  Honestly, the rest of my "friends"... well, that's the end of that season and it's totally fine with me.  I've continued to work full time with this as well as mine and hubby's side businesses.  We've also traveled here and there so I'm not missing out on life.  I'll enjoy life regardless!  My relationship with God has continued to grow stronger and although I've had setbacks due to not being able to get rest or because I don't take the time to rest, I'm determined to not give up or grow bitter. Every day I become a bit stronger and I'm back on the treadmill once or twice a week now.  It's hard, but eventually, I'll be back up to my 5 - 6 days!  I actually can't wait!  I'm very thankful to the One who sustains me and the loved ones that continue to love me.  To God be the glory!

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