This quote!!!
This quote was such an encouragement to me. I was fearful that if I was honest about a recent (and TEMPORARY) dip in my spirits, that I would be a poor witness or seem like a negative Nancy. I never got to the point of "story of my life" dramatics... but I hit my wall!
Honest Confession:
I'm still struggling to overcome whatever made me sick earlier in 2018. I still drive a long commute, like many folks, that just gets longer as time goes on and traffic increases. In addition to the exhaustion from this mystery illness and drive; work on additional jobs and trying to keep the home running had taken its additional toll. I showed up, put on the bravest face possible, and did my best to do my work in excellence.
With continued "set backs" I felt like the avalanche, that had been trickling down for months and months, finally buried me. It was not a good place to be. And while it was happening to me, I was fully aware, that these were not major catastrophes but pile upon pile finally got to me.
I can't really talk to anyone about it. I might seem faithless or complainy and again my "piles" would be minuscule in another's opinion. So what was I supposed to do?
How I have been "handling" it:
Of course, I go to the Lord, but honestly, this may not always happen first. The battle really starts in my head. But after I get a grip, I pray, I let myself cry a bit, then if needed, I will share with a trusted friend and counselor. I need the non judgement to share what is going on. Here are a few scriptures that were shared with me to encourage me.
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| Background photo by Tracy Hilbun. |
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| Created on Fontee app by Tracy Hilbun |
The scriptures can put my heart at great ease. But seeking the Lord always puts me at peace.
What's going on now:
Since then, I moved forward and let my very small inner circle know I was struggling a bit, I pretended I was fine for those that had struggles and needed me to be their friend. I went through my house again and did some spiritual house cleaning as we do have visitors periodically and began to shake off that heaviness I was carrying. I also began to take inventory. I'm in the process of downsizing. Downsizing stuff in the house, all the jobs (side businesses don't bring me joy so why am I doing them?), my body (I've lost 14lbs since 10/1/19!), just anything that burdens me.
I quit beating myself up. It's okay to NOT be okay. It's NOT okay to live there and not want to grow and move forward. That's not healthy and I surely wouldn't be pleasant to be around if all I did was complain about my problems or share doom and dread.
Things will never be perfect, but I see God's goodness and presence in ways that are personal to me. I had felt alone and like He even left me, but I knew better. My emotions were getting the better of me. For the truth is, He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Encouragement:
Be encouraged friends. Be YOU (the authentic you) but endeavor to be better. Seek help if needed whether it's God, your mom, daughter, or sister, a trusted friend (not everyone around you or via social media), or your counselor and talk it out. Find your growth areas and realize you may have been planted rather than buried. Take care of yourself too. Simple things like a proper healthy diet, clean water, and daily exercise, make a huge difference in your outlook.
Have you recently been in a place where you felt buried and it took a while to understand you've been planted?
What was your biggest encouragement to help you move forward? A scripture? A quote? Talking to a friend? Writing in your journal? Please share below!
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