Sometimes It Is Okay, To NOT Be Okay!

If you know me or have read most of my posts, follow me on social media, etc... you know that encouragement and positivity are my jams!  But let's keep it real folks.  Sometimes, even the most positive and happy person can get down.  Life can be rough sometimes.  What seems like not a big deal to others, is a big deal to the one it's happening to.  I think the world would be a much better place if we'd step out of ourselves and just be a bit more compassionate to our friends and loved ones PERIOD.  They may be facing struggles that we are not aware of.

This quote!!!

This quote was such an encouragement to me.  I was fearful that if I was honest about a recent (and TEMPORARY) dip in my spirits, that I would be a poor witness or seem like a negative Nancy.  I never got to the point of  "story of my life" dramatics... but I hit my wall!

Honest Confession:

I'm still struggling to overcome whatever made me sick earlier in 2018.  I still drive a long commute, like many folks, that just gets longer as time goes on and traffic increases.  In addition to the exhaustion from this mystery illness and drive; work on additional jobs and trying to keep the home running had taken its additional toll.  I showed up, put on the bravest face possible, and did my best to do my work in excellence.  

With continued "set backs" I felt like the avalanche, that had been trickling down for months and months, finally buried me.  It was not a good place to be.  And while it was happening to me, I was fully aware, that these were not major catastrophes but pile upon pile finally got to me.  

I can't really talk to anyone about it.  I might seem faithless or complainy and again my "piles" would be minuscule in another's opinion.  So what was I supposed to do?  

How I have been "handling" it:

Of course, I go to the Lord, but honestly, this may not always happen first.  The battle really starts in my head.  But after I get a grip, I pray, I let myself cry a bit, then if needed, I will share with a trusted friend and counselor.  I need the non judgement to share what is going on.   Here are a few scriptures that were shared with me to encourage me.  

Background photo by Tracy Hilbun. 

Created on Fontee app by Tracy Hilbun

The scriptures can put my heart at great ease. But seeking the Lord always puts me at peace.  

What's going on now:  

Since then, I moved forward and let my very small inner circle know I was struggling a bit,  I pretended I was fine for those that had struggles and needed me to be their friend.  I went through my house again and did some spiritual house cleaning as we do have visitors periodically and began to shake off that heaviness I was carrying.  I also began to take inventory. I'm in the process of downsizing.  Downsizing stuff in the house, all the jobs (side businesses don't bring me joy so why am I doing them?), my body (I've lost 14lbs since 10/1/19!), just anything that burdens me.  

I quit beating myself up.  It's okay to NOT be okay.  It's NOT okay to live there and not want to grow and move forward.  That's not healthy and I surely wouldn't be pleasant to be around if all I did was complain about my problems or share doom and dread.  

Things will never be perfect, but I see God's goodness and presence in ways that are personal to me.  I  had felt alone and like He even left me, but I knew better.  My emotions were getting the better of me.  For the truth is, He will never leave me nor forsake me.  

Encouragement:

Be encouraged friends.  Be YOU (the authentic you) but endeavor to be better.  Seek help if needed whether it's God, your mom, daughter, or sister, a trusted friend (not everyone around you or via social media), or your counselor and talk it out.  Find your growth areas and realize you may have been planted rather than buried.  Take care of yourself too.  Simple things like a proper healthy diet, clean water, and daily exercise, make a huge difference in your outlook.  

Have you recently been in a place where you felt buried and it took a while to understand you've been planted?  

What was your biggest encouragement to help you move forward?  A scripture? A quote? Talking to a friend?  Writing in your journal?  Please share below!  

  

I Still Have a Migraine but It's Okay!

My post I Have a Migraine and It's NOT Okay is from May of 2016 and gives a bit of history of my struggle with migraines.  The bottom line on that... 2016 ended with a neurologist confirming that the migraines were untreatable but wanted me to try Botox injections in my neck.  Alas, my insurance won't cover the cost of Botox for migraine (even though it's no way cosmetic) so I didn't pursue due to the cost.

I just continued to suffer but also continued to stay grateful and non complaining as much as possible.  Additionally, I continued to eat low carb and no sugar.  I confirmed that foods are not my triggers other than Splenda (which I don't consume other than that accidental diet lemonade from CFA).  I also continued to pursue the supplement journey.

In December of 2016, my pursuit for better overall wellness, found me starting my own business as a health and wellness distributor.  While trying to learn my business (still failing and learning to this day) and experimenting with the products I found something!  I found 2 products that have changed mine and my husband's lives!  No joke.

With use of these plant based products, over time, hubby found that he doesn't have the stomach issues he was struggling with and I found that I'm resting at night better and my pain and the nausea associated with the migraines has lessened.  The pain has became less frequent and periodically will now respond a bit to OTC pain reliever. Major game changer especially with having a long commute to a full time job while trying to build a home based business.

I AM NOT making a medical claim.  I AM saying that I've turned a corner.  Praise God!
I still have migraines.  This last one seems to want to stay a while, BUT this is the first one that I've had in almost a year that has stayed around (on and off) this long.  That's a pretty big milestone.

In my pursuit to be a better me and a better business owner, I have continued to pray and ride the personal development train.  I still listen to great podcasts in the form of sermons, network marketing training, and leadership.  What a difference they make!  Part of our stress and inability to cope is mainly in our thought patterns and our verbal complaining.  Filling my mind with positivity and taking actions toward growth helps me cope.  I have a long enough commute that I should be fully grown in about another year.  ha ha... just kidding.  I think we should all remain in a constant state of growth and development.  Those around me that don't will soon be left behind.  Just sayin'.

Have you ever heard, "Complain and Remain.  Praise and be Raised" ( Joyce Meyer from her book, "Me and My Big Mouth")?  It's true.  Yes, I still have chronic migraines.  No, I'm not going to shut my life off and not enjoy it nor can I call in sick multiple days a month.  Life is moving rapidly and I have major FOMO! (fear of missing out).  I also want to continue to grow as a person and be an encouragement to those around me.  I can't do that if I whine all of the time or if I'm "stuck".

How did I get on this ramble?  I wanted to write about the current struggle with this migraine and how I've had some migraine blues that have been hard to shake, especially today.  I thought writing about it would be therapeutic.  Well, I was right.  While I was typing this, I drank my superfoods, and I don't feel so defeated anymore.  I also don't really feel like complaining.  I feel like shouting to God how wonderful He is and how He's already healed me.   How thankful I am for an understanding and sensitive husband.  How grateful I am that these supplements have made me feel so much better and how much I've grown as a person and more towards a purpose this past year.

I still have a long way to go, but progress is progress!

It's Time to Schedule a Complainectomy

It's time.  Time to remove the complainy part of our brains that loves to... complain!  It's time for a complainectomy.

So the past year on social media has been a blast hasn't it?  Wow, did the idiom "misery loves company" prove it's point or what?!?

Think about our daily lives and those we encounter.  It's so easy to get sucked in.  But we need to stay strong!  I mean, misery does love company.  So, one might think, "I'm freaking miserable, everyone else around me needs to be too."  Here let me help by infecting you with my gift for complaining.  

I think some people aren't happy unless they are miserable.  Unfortunately, some of these folks may have no idea how they make the people around them feel.  Certainly they would freak out if they knew they were repellent to people who love and adore them?  I mean complaining stinks and the more you do it, the more you stink.  I don't like to be around things that stink.

Is  life really that bad?  Maybe we are in bad situations because we aren't growing while we need a complainectomy.  Our lives will never change for the better until we start being grateful for what we have and where we are.  Things will not change until we do.  It's not that complicated.    

But if you really want to get on the "complain train", be warned.  It's standing room only.  I just got the last seat with this post.

10 MORE Things To Do When You Are STILL Sick

Well, as my loyal 5 readers (I appreciate YOU!) could tell... I have been too sick to even blog!  I love my blog therapy.  It makes me happy... but this "cold" has knocked me for a loop.  Honey had a relapse and although he's still coughing, I think he's finally on the mend (on day 8 for him).

I started a fever again, at work, yesterday and it continued this morning.  As I'm somewhat delirious, I thought I'd try something constructive to re-focus.

So... here are 10 more things to do when you are still sick.

1.  Still drink lots and try to eat
2.  Blog, color, journal (whatever art therapy works)
3.  Give up on the EmergenCs
4.  Continue to take your vitamins
5.  Read, but actually focus on your reading since a few days ago, reading was too hard.
6.  Call in sick
7.  Actually have that Netflix binge that you fell asleep through a few days ago.
8.  Keep enjoying popsicles
9.  Stop complaining out loud
10.  Bombard everyone's facebook feed with positive affirmations.

Bonus:  Try NOT to stress about the housework being even farther behind than it was before you got sick.    (it's worth a shot)

Extra bonus:  Realize you are faaareezing and go make some cocoa and get back in bed!

I said, "Go back to bed!"

hugs to you!

10 Things to do When You Are Sick

10 Things to do when you are sick:

1.  Drink lots
2.  Because you drank lots, get up and tinkle lots
3.  Get your Hay Day farm cleaned up and actually complete a derby task
4.  Read
5.  Try to eat a little and take your vitamins
6.  Enjoy the down time.  Otherwise, you may not have gotten this much needed quiet time.
7.  Have a Netflix binge.
8.  Enjoy Popsicles
9.  Complain
10.  Get off your pity pot and get some rest so you are better tomorrow!
11.  Get caught up on Social Media, because you know how important that is!

Getting caught up on social media

My list of 10 includes 11 items.  You can delete 1 to make it 10.

"Honey, can I get more nyquil?"

What do you do when you are sick?

The Vent

I remember when we used to get the AJC, there was a section called The Vent.  You could call their hotline, leave your vent and then you could be published in the paper... complaining, but published... Now days, if The Vent still exists, I am sure you can text your vent, email it, or better yet... just vent on facebook, twitter, or your own blog... hmmmm... well let's get to venting...

"friends"... you know the ones... that are all needy.  never call you unless they need your advice, because like, I am a psychologist in my side job.  The kind that you worry about for a while, send messages to, never get a reply until you are in a good mood and they find you on facebook... then they proceed to suck the fun out of your night and the life out of you.

ex's... they are not in your future for a reason... forget the past...

suck ups... good grief, I cannot stand brown nosers... just do the work, be respectful, and have integrity.  God still loves you with crap on your nose, but people around you can smell you coming.

bill collectors... leave me alone... I am not Marshall somebody... I just happen to have his old cell number.

prideful people... "come look at this picture of me... isn't it awful?"  what if I said, "yes it is"?  Oh my goodness, this (insert whatever they are working on) is so hard... Oh you mean, you are so awesome that is why you get to do it?  I could go on for a lifetime on this one... let's not forget... primadonna ballerinas..

Pets... why does the dog ask to go out, drag you around forever so she can sniff everywhere, then she doesn't do her business?  Any reason the cat has those silent hairballs at night and manages to throw them up right where you will step on it first thing in the morning?  

Complainers... somewhere in the whiner family, but now I am talking about myself and don't want to be prideful.

There, I vented some... not sure if I feel better or not, but could laugh at myself b/c no one reads my blog anyway... I can get a grip on my own reality, thank the good Lord that He will forgive me after I ask and He still loves me.  I do have the best friends in the world and none of them fit into any of these categories.  =)


Update (2017).  I wrote this forever ago!  ha ha... just a bit of backstory... this was the year my mom passed away (3 months before this post).  I would say I was in the angry phase.  This is pretty tame though as it's an angry for me phase.   Now one of my life goals is the be a positive influence and spread joy.  I would give my 7 years ago self some advice.  Here goes.  Your feelings are valid, but complaining doesn't help.  Instead, go to God.  Pray and ask Him how you can be a better friend to attract stronger friends, set better boundaries and life suckers will eventually go away, love yourself more and your joy will be contagious, and ask the Holy Spirit how to respond better to life's negative situations.  And... remember Sarcasm might be fun, but sometimes it can cross the line into negativity and it isn't always funny.  Sarcasm can get mean so just don't participate.