Where God Closes a Door...

Welp… the main reason we moved to the north Georgia area has just been removed from our future plans.  Don’t get me wrong.  We love where we live and although the house we are in is a bit of a fixer upper, it’s where God wants us.  How do we know?  Well, lots of prayer during the process.  We prayed for the 2 years before we started working with an agent and continued to pray for the right agent, the right house, for God to close the door if we picked the wrong one (many opportunities for God to close a door during a home purchase process).  He never did stop our purchase or move.

Let’s back up to about 4 years ago… Bj started teaching adjunct at a north Georgia college and loved it.  Talks began about making him the chair of a new minor degree.  It would be ideal as he was looking to retire from teaching social studies for a local county alternative high school.  As we were still young in our love relationship, this spurred things on as far as planning a future.  We both were drawn to the mountains and weekend dates usually entailed long drives to the north Georgia mountains and what we called “daydreaming”.  Daydreaming meant we were checking out local towns as our possible future home after we got married.  After all, he was going to eventually be teaching full time at the college and me being almost 20 years younger, would commute for a time and eventually find a job closer to home. 

Well, God has other plans.  Although a part time teacher at this college, the school suddenly cut his pay back to adjunct and won’t return numerous calls in an effort to correct this or find out what happened.  Since Bj has over 40 years of experience in this field, working for basically minimum wage as a college teacher, is not really an option.  It is no longer an investment in his future as the minor degree has stalled and the college isn’t really growing in that field.  It’s sad and a bit discouraging to both of us actually. 

I’m here to encourage and love on my husband though.  Sometimes we need to close a door before another one can open so I’m believing that this door closing was necessary.  How else are we going to find out what God really has planned for us up here?  It’s obviously not what we were planning on.  God’s sense of humor is fascinating, isn’t it?  But He loves us and we are to live our lives for Him, not us anyway. 

I can’t wait to see what He has planned.  

Photo by Kelly Rayborn
on one of our "daydreaming" trips

The Vent

I remember when we used to get the AJC, there was a section called The Vent.  You could call their hotline, leave your vent and then you could be published in the paper... complaining, but published... Now days, if The Vent still exists, I am sure you can text your vent, email it, or better yet... just vent on facebook, twitter, or your own blog... hmmmm... well let's get to venting...

"friends"... you know the ones... that are all needy.  never call you unless they need your advice, because like, I am a psychologist in my side job.  The kind that you worry about for a while, send messages to, never get a reply until you are in a good mood and they find you on facebook... then they proceed to suck the fun out of your night and the life out of you.

ex's... they are not in your future for a reason... forget the past...

suck ups... good grief, I cannot stand brown nosers... just do the work, be respectful, and have integrity.  God still loves you with crap on your nose, but people around you can smell you coming.

bill collectors... leave me alone... I am not Marshall somebody... I just happen to have his old cell number.

prideful people... "come look at this picture of me... isn't it awful?"  what if I said, "yes it is"?  Oh my goodness, this (insert whatever they are working on) is so hard... Oh you mean, you are so awesome that is why you get to do it?  I could go on for a lifetime on this one... let's not forget... primadonna ballerinas..

Pets... why does the dog ask to go out, drag you around forever so she can sniff everywhere, then she doesn't do her business?  Any reason the cat has those silent hairballs at night and manages to throw them up right where you will step on it first thing in the morning?  

Complainers... somewhere in the whiner family, but now I am talking about myself and don't want to be prideful.

There, I vented some... not sure if I feel better or not, but could laugh at myself b/c no one reads my blog anyway... I can get a grip on my own reality, thank the good Lord that He will forgive me after I ask and He still loves me.  I do have the best friends in the world and none of them fit into any of these categories.  =)


Update (2017).  I wrote this forever ago!  ha ha... just a bit of backstory... this was the year my mom passed away (3 months before this post).  I would say I was in the angry phase.  This is pretty tame though as it's an angry for me phase.   Now one of my life goals is the be a positive influence and spread joy.  I would give my 7 years ago self some advice.  Here goes.  Your feelings are valid, but complaining doesn't help.  Instead, go to God.  Pray and ask Him how you can be a better friend to attract stronger friends, set better boundaries and life suckers will eventually go away, love yourself more and your joy will be contagious, and ask the Holy Spirit how to respond better to life's negative situations.  And... remember Sarcasm might be fun, but sometimes it can cross the line into negativity and it isn't always funny.  Sarcasm can get mean so just don't participate. 

The Chocolate Cure

Bad day! What is it that when one thing brings you down, everything snowballs after that... It is usually from the people you love the most. Then you screw up your own day letting it get to you. I get so disappointed that I give in to the fatigue of the day and let stuff get me down.

The little dolly sits there with a broken leg in a sea of chocolate. Bad day or good day... guess it depends on how you look at it... I would say, sitting in a sea of chocolate would be a good day. =))

I didn't get to sit in a sea of chocolate today, but I will make up my mind to still kiss my princess on the forehead and bless the Lord for the day.

square peg

For years, I have felt like a square peg. I don't fit in to the neat and tidy hole of the perfect family unit. I have been divorced for over 13 years now. When I go to church, there is no group I really fit into, but then again, do I want to be limited? Sometimes it bothers me... when the younger girls that are single, have a get together. I feel left out, but then I don't have much in common with them. I don't fit with the married couples... I am the third wheel or the step child. In a way, it is neat how God has made me different, but in other ways, I wonder... "what is wrong with me?"

I just had a performance review at work last week. My area that needs improvement is my confidence... both at my job and personally. I cried. Think that was confirmation of my lack of confidence.

Who am I? In Christ, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. In His eyes, I am a square peg that fits perfectly in His hand.