Friday, May 14, 2021

The Worst Advice? Or the Best Advice?


I thought it was the worst!

A while back, the question was asked, "What was the worst advice you were ever given?".  For a long time, I thought my parent's advice, "Take the first job offer you get after you graduate from college.", was the worst.  

After I graduated, I went to a job agency because that's what I was told to do.  I interviewed and was offered the first job I interviewed for.  It was a job with a finance company.  The funny thing is, my degree was an A.A. Degree in Communications (Theatre & Speech).  So there I was, earning a tad over minimum wage as the customer service rep.  (Basically I did everything but close loans and make collection calls).  It was primarily a basic bookkeeping job.  I took payments from customers, balanced and prepared the deposit at the end of the day, answered all of the phone calls, documented everything (on paper cards), and paid the monthly bills and hand wrote journal entries to log the funds going out.  

Why I thought it was the worst!

What happened is that this job dictated my future jobs.  Although I don't like working in just accounts receivable or just accounts payable (because it's repetitive and boring), it has opened doors for me and could again in a pinch.  Most of these jobs were great work experience, but I spent years at a few different jobs where the management was hostile and abusive.  I was not valued, and although I worked my butt off, I was not considered for promotions or to move to something that would grow me.  This is where I thought it was the worst advice.

However, as we get older, we start remembering differently and thinking differently.  My thinking is still that I hated most of those "accounting department" jobs.  But lately, I saw how God used it for good and realized what a blessing this has been and great advice from my parents.  

How God used it for good.  

My last accounts receivable job was the pits.  It was boring, I had nowhere to move up to, my lovely manager got promoted and an evil tyrant was brought in to replace her.  She was legit mean... then our company got sold to a larger chemical company and that usually means they'll centralize accounting at the home office.  So, I started job hunting before I had to job hunt.  As I drove into work everyday, I saw a sign for a business across the street and it struck my curiosity daily.  I finally checked them out on the internet and their job openings too.  There were 2 openings in their finance office.  I sent an interest email.  

About 1 month later, I received an email from the human resources admin asking if I was still interested.  Since I was employed still, I had not been super active in my job search, just dying a little more inside everyday as I continued to work and fear my job would end at any moment.  Anyway, I thought the email was automated and not from a person, so I sent a short and not so professional response of "Yes!  I am still interested!".  A few days later I had an interview scheduled after work.  

The beauty was, it was across the street, so I brought dress clothes and kept them in my car.  I worked on the 4th floor, so I was able to change before my interview on the main floor and then head across the street.  The not so beauty part... I was sick as a dog.  I had no idea how sick though until I got home. 

Long Story Short

Long story short, I botched everything on top of having a fever and a sore throat (strep to be exact).  I questioned the HR admin when she gave me a spelling and math test (hello... spell check and I'll have a calculator in accounting), I questioned if they read my resume when I realized my job would be in accounts payable when I had not done that since my very first job, I cried when they asked me to share about my daughter (single mom life was hard y'all and I love my daughter more than life). Not to mention, I prayed the entire time that I was not sick or contagious. ( I was!).  When I got home, my mom asked how my interview went.  Here's what happened!

It'll be God if I get this job!  

So that's how I responded to my mom.  And guess what?  I got the job!  I was so excited.  God really helped me get this.  I needed to honor God in that.  But after a while, I had my usual problem with this work.  after a little over 2 years, I got a little bored, but I loved my team and my boss.  I prayed for the Lord to help me be content and to open doors if possible to stay but do something different.  God honored my choice to be content and try to bloom where He planted me.  Anyway, I was moved to the department I work in now.  Fourteen years later, I still struggle with leaving my family in the finance office, but was so excited to do something new and more hands on with our organization's mission.  

The gift that keeps on giving.  

How did this advice continue to bless me?  Well, a door opened for some extra work (which I would be able to do from home and was very part time with the hopes of growing a bit).  My finance background helped me be the best candidate in the Director's eyes, although I asked him to take more time to find a better qualified person.  I am happy to say I've been assisting this Director for almost 3 years now and I keep learning so much and assisting more, which I LOVE.    

I met my best friend!  She was temping for a co-worker going on maternity leave and thought she was part of an event I was working on... Anyway, this is been a huge blessing to me.  

Another door opened for more extra work with another non profit that I am blessed to assist with and still maintain relationships with folks I adore.  

Unsolicited of course...

My advice... when someone asks you, "What's the worst advice you ever received?" remember the best advice I found... "Remember, no one else knows what they are doing either".  ha ha.. just kidding.  I would rather challenge you to consider, was it really the worst? or was it a pathway to blessings?


Sunday, January 5, 2020

Fear of Flying

Flying in to NYC December 2019


The last time I flew was to my grandmother's funeral in January of 2002!  That's a lot of years ago.  I also didn't have great experiences my last flights to anywhere.

We flew through a turbulent storm, coming home from my grandmother's and experienced my first panic attack along with immense motion sickness.  Luckily I only turned white and never green.  The next flights after this were back to where my grandmother lived but it was for her funeral.  Sigh...

Why am I writing about this.  I don't know.... therapy maybe?  We were gifted with airline tickets to NYC.  My stepson and his girl are there and we were invited to stay with them and enjoy some time in NYC!  My first trip there.   My daughter has been there, my husband lived there years ago, and then there's me.  

We had the tickets for a while and nerves continued to build regarding the trip.  Then my nerves skyrocketed after a really sore foot for the months of September and October. The result, a stress fracture diagnosis on 10/31/19.  Our trip to NYC was scheduled for 12/27/19!  So now there was the increased nerves of what condition will my foot be in by then?

I'm victorious and the terrible anxiety and panic attacks I suffered from for years have not been an issue for me the past few years.  PRAISE GOD... but here I was, sort of thinking I needed an emergency kit for the trip.  So I went to the doctor and asked for 4 xanax pills for 'just in case'.  

Well, unfortunately, our flight was leaving Atlanta at 6 am and we live about 2 hours from the airport and we still needed to get our car settled in an offsite long term parking lot.  Since we needed to leave for the airport around 1:30am... we pulled an all nighter.  NOT SMART.

We listened to worship music on the way into town and then we started getting sleepy about half way to Atlanta.  Getting caffeine in the middle of the night was probably not the best idea and I should have stuck to just being in prayer mode.  Being over tired by the time we got to the Atlanta airport just intensified my nerves.  I was doing okay until.... I had to go to the restroom and ended up walking to every restroom in the north and south terminals to find them ALL CLOSED for cleaning.  AT THE SAME TIME.  Not a good place to be.  So I started a bit of a panic attack.  I felt so defeated.  One of the restrooms finally opened and I unfortunately got ill from the nerves.  I'm even more defeated.  So... as I finally returned from a 30 minute bathroom trip (due to the tons of walking back and forth trying to find an open restroom), my anxious husband thought I got kidnapped or something (I left my phone on our table at IHOP thinking I would only be gone 5 minutes).  So there I was... trembling, feeling like a failure, and trying to get my xanax bottle open.  I took 1/2 of one and then we continued to go check in our bags.  I started the light hyper ventilating.  It was embarrassing.  My hubby was stressed too, but gently tried to calm me down.  

Then comes the mean strip search (I mean security check).  Of course I did it wrong because they are yelling at you the long list of stuff to take out of your carry on, while you are trying to take off  your shoes and pretty much finish the list after you have already sent your bin on.  So after an additional search of my purse by the not so sweet security people... I was a sweaty, nervous wreck.  

I took the other 1/2 of the xanax.  

Feeling more like a defeated failure.

Once we finally boarded and realized how tight airplanes are now, I freaked!  I ended up taking 2 fast dissolve dramamines and a nausea pill.  

I took about a 30 minute nap on our 2 and a half hour flight and while I passed out my poor hubby started having a restless legs attack.  What a pair we were.  

Luckily, when we arrived at my stepson;os, he had planned a low key day.  Good thing as I was so over medicated, all I did was roll around and fall asleep on his couch all day/evening/night.  How embarrassing.  

We ended up having a great trip even though my foot was still in intense pain as I somehow managed to get a secondary injury to my foot at the beginning of December.  But we loved spending time with my stepson, meeting his girl, seeing the sights, walking more steps than I should have, and just being together.  

How did the trip home go?  Well, we had a full night's sleep prior to leaving, the trip from my stepson's apartment to the airport was only 15 minutes (terrifying though), and check in was far less stressful.  The airplane wasn't full and although the flight was somewhat turbulent, I was fine.  

So how does fear of flying end? Not sure when we'll go back to NYC to see my stepson, but I believe we're looking into a longer trip and taking the train or possibly flying out of Greenville, SC rather than Atlanta.  

Also, I'm still victorious even though I panicked.  I do believe lack of sleep didn't help and the fact that my discernment is so strong that I felt everyone's anxiety in the Atlanta airport.  It is just a really stressful airport although you do feel pretty safe there, ironically.

I'm not going to let this incident get the better of me.  I can overcome this setback.  I'm not saying that I'll fly anywhere, anytime soon but I'll prepare better on the front side with better flight scheduling for times and place.  Also making sure I've eaten and I'm not over tired.  

Do you fly often?  What are your best tips to have a stress free experience?  

Please share in the comments!!



Wednesday, January 1, 2020

New Year's Resolutions or an Alternative Plan

Happy Day One!


Ah, yes... it's that time of year... NEW YEAR's RESOLUTIONS... to resolute or not to resolute!


According to Psychology Today,  an estimated 88-92 percent of new year's resolutions fail!  That's pretty striking when most new year's resolutions are usually a decision to stick with something we should be doing anyway... like eating healthy and exercising, growing intellectually or spiritually, paying off our debt, etc.

But I've heard rumblings of alternate plans for New Year's Resolutions so a failure isn't an option. I've also heard rumblings of flat out refusal to commit to a change for the better during the upcoming year.

I'm in full support of what you decide but can I try to encourage you in the direction of appreciating your worth and taking some steps toward positive change and growth?  Go ahead and stop right here, if you are satisfied with a life of simply converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Below are some alternate plans I presented for 2019.  Plans to help us know our value and live our lives to our fullest potential for ourselves and those around us. 

Seriously, no one likes hanging around O2 converters.  Just sayin'.

1.  Plan some positive goals but in smaller chunks of time this year.  Like for every season, there's a new goal or a new goal for each new month... Here's a seasonal example.

  • Winter:  Start a gratitude journal
  • Spring:  Start expressing your gratitude for others actually to them!
  • Summer:  Start a photo journal of fun times with your family and friends.  I know we have busy schedules and this might be limited to a funny joke on the way to cheer camp, but do it anyway.
  • Fall:  Go outside as much as possible.  If you have allergies, take your zyrtec and go play.  Chances are you are suffering inside, so you might as well enjoy the outside too!

Get creative with some goals related to how you want to change, ways to be creative, or just making time for you!  Self care is highly under utilized.

2. Focus on those you really value or find joy in being around and love on them intentionally this year.  We've all got those folks in our lives that have just been there forever... but you've outgrown them or interests have changed.  No longer are they an investment in your growth and life.  They are just making withdrawals that you cannot afford.  Make a list of those worth your valuable time investment.  Then find ways to spend time with them.  This doesn't need to be a huge investment of time to show your appreciation to these folks. (this includes your family)

  • A monthly dinner outing (not the quick drive thru or fast meal before a game or church)  A time to celebrate each other and share a casual and delicious meal.  This doesn't have to be at a fancy place either.  Honey and I have great breakfast dates at the Huddle House!  
  • A coffee or a lunch date (an hour of your life once a quarter or once a month)
  • Taking a walk at break time with work friend.   
3.  Think about things you used to do and DO THEM this year!
  •  Did you used to be really into art or photography?  Take a community class.  You can find help with the kids, if you have them and offer to help in return so your helper can take classes too.  Encourage them to do things they love!  
  • Did you used to ballroom dance?  Go find a ballroom club and waltz away some extra stress and/or pounds
  • Did you used to love to lift weights or jazzercise?  Join a gym!  A lot of clubs let you sign up for $1 in January for maybe a 3 month commitment after that.  Go for it!
4.  Focus on your health and wellness this year

Don't let your health (physical and mental) go.  You've only got one body to live in and you have loved ones that truly want to enjoy a long and full life with you.  
  • See your doctor regularly so they can monitor changes to your baseline health.   
  • take quality supplements
  • eat whole, clean, and monitor your portions.
  • cut out sugar and drive thru food as much as possible 
  • drink lots of water
  • MOVE! (I don't mean move to a new city {unless that is needed for your better health})
  • Minimize stress and find ways to manage and cope with stress
  • eliminate bad habits (excess drinking, smoking, laziness, complaining)
  • Pray and/or meditate.  Make time to be still and quiet and really listen.  



These are just a few ideas to set yourself up for rocking 2020! 

Feel free to share some of your New Year's resolutions or alternative plans for 2020 in the comments.  
I'd love to cheer you on!














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