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| The view from our deck. I love to sit and stare at this view. It's a great way for me to relieve stress! Photo by me! |
Well this year, I put my foot down on not stressing as much as possible. How did we do that? It wasn't easy for my husband who still hasn't ditched his people pleasing. I on the other hand burned out and got physically sick this year, so I started setting boundaries and have quit trying to keep people liking me by making them happy. While I'm in recovery from burn out, being a people pleaser, and being on a medication that depleted my potassium levels enough to display months of symptoms, I decided that I really don't care if people don't like me anymore because I am not making them happy. I'm flipping tired! Hate to break it to everyone, but I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own. No one is breaking their neck and tiring themselves out to make me happy. I wouldn't want them to #1, but #2... I'm responsible for my own happiness! duh!
Okay... that sort of sounded like a rant. Maybe it was. But managing stress, the tail end of this year, started with me letting everyone know that I was NOT hostessing Thanksgiving or Christmas on the actual holidays. Our kids weren't going to be able to come, so why should we be obligated to host unless we wanted to? Especially when I was recovering. Hostessing is not my gift so not only is cooking a beautiful meal tiring, cleaning tiring, but making sure everyone is enjoying themselves ridiculously tiring. Let's not even talk about not having matching plates for more than 4 people, no cloth napkins and a few old stained tablecloths. Getting the house cleaned when your husband leaves a dust cloud and a trail of clutter no matter where he goes. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
So wait... how am I managing stress as best as possible? Here's a few practical tips that have helped me manage high stress.
1. Eat well
I try not to stress my body out needlessly. Eating well means that I keep my carb intake low (foods that turn to sugar), that I'm avoiding sugar and limiting alcohol and caffeine. LIMITING... don't go crazy not getting caffeine if you need it, just have your cup in the morning and limit any more caffeine intake the rest of the day. It can raise blood pressure. The same for alcohol. Have a glass of wine, but too much can raise blood pressure and dehydrate the body.
2. Get physical
Going for a walk, even just the 15 minute break walk at work really helps blow off steam. I was so excited to get a treadmill at the Goodwill recently and I've been actually enjoying getting on the treadmill and old elliptical. I actually got mad at my hubby yesterday because he had so many things for me to do and he didn't do the things I asked him to, so I had to do those too and didn't have enough time to get on the treadmill. By the time I sat down and said, I need at least 15 minutes for me, it was 9:15 pm. Very much too late to exercise. You know what? Not getting that little bit of physical movement in really set my mood sourly. Ha ha. Lesson learned (for both of us) that this is a very important stress management tool.
3. Relaxation techniques
Whatever works for you to relax, do it! I need quiet sometimes. Other times I need to be outside. Some other times, I just need to sit next to my hubby and snuggle. I need to not be shopping or around people in order to relax. If reading relaxes you, or listening to music, or mediation please make sure you set aside a little bit of time every day or at least every other day to relax. I personally don't think electronics count as relaxing time because the screen can actually be stimulating and can maybe create an undercurrent of stress. Just do it!
4. Supplementation
Keeping my diet in check is a big part of maintaining good nutrition which helps me manage stress. Another part is high quality supplementation. I take plant based supplements. If an acute stress need arises, I just take a little extra.
5. Journal
I find writing and journaling therapeutic. Hence, this blog. But sometimes it needs to be private as to what is bothering me. Putting it down in a notebook or a journal helps me process and go deeper to the root cause of what is bothering me. It helps me pinpoint what I need to heal in my heart to move forward and get out of my stress state.
6. Prayer
After I've pinpointed a root cause, prayer is where I can really get to my healing and feel better. The peace of God really does surpass all understanding. With this, reading devotionals and the Bible are amazing ways to destress.
7. Just say "no"!
I'm serious. I'm struggling with really putting the people pleasing to rest for good. You know, you can follow the biblical principle of loving others above yourself but not drowning in works to please everyone. Just stop it and say no to activities that you really don't have the time and energy for and worst yet, activities that you don't even like because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I promise they'll get over it if you can't go and your honest about why. And if they don't get over it, then you don't need them. God has more for you in the form of friends that are not energy and time vampires. Just sayin'.
8. Prioritize and manage time
Covey's time management matrix is a great way to break down your time to avoid burn out. There are a ton of articles in Google and Pinterest to explain how to use it, but here's what it looks like:
9. Talk to someone
If your mind is cluttered by stress, finding a trusted friend, co-worker, or professional to speak with may help. I have a limited few that I can talk with, but my intention is to get myself in check. These trusted friends will gently let me know if I'm out of line and lead me to where I need to be praying and seeking God. If you do talk with someone, please ask them if they have time to talk to you about something, before you verbally vomit on them. Those hearing of your stress are willing to help, but it can be tiring to them to hear what all is going on, so please be conscientious of their time and energy. Also seek out those that you can trust to slap you upside the head if needed. Sometimes our stress is self-induced and we just need to get ourselves off of our minds. But if you are seriously stressed or in a depressive state, please see a doctor and speak with a professional. There's no shame in getting help!
10. Rest!
Once we learn to say "no" and manage our time, we can get much needed rest which will in turn, help us cope better with our stressors. Turn off electronics early, turn off the tv and go crawl in bed with a good book or calming sounds. Your body needs the quiet and rest.
I hope this helps you out or at least distracted you long enough for your current stressors so you could relax a little. I'm not a professional in any way but these activities have helped me a lot.
What are some tips that help you de-stress? Please share in the comments!
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