10 Ways That I Manage Stress

The view from our deck.  I love to sit and stare at this view.  It's a great way for me to relieve stress!  Photo by me!

As Christmas quickly approaches it seems stress levels rise just as quickly!  Our pace quickens as the deadlines of multiple gatherings approach, gifts need to be purchased, and budgets are tight!  Or is this just me that gets even more stressed this time of year?

Well this year, I put my foot down on not stressing as much as possible.  How did we do that?  It wasn't easy for my husband who still hasn't ditched his people pleasing.  I on the other hand burned out and got physically sick this year, so I started setting boundaries and have quit trying to keep people liking me by making them happy.  While I'm in recovery from burn out, being a people pleaser, and being on a medication that depleted my potassium levels enough to display months of symptoms, I decided that I really don't care if people don't like me anymore because I am not making them happy.  I'm flipping tired! Hate to break it to everyone, but I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own. No one is breaking their neck and tiring themselves out to make me happy.  I wouldn't want them to #1, but #2... I'm responsible for my own happiness!  duh!

Okay... that sort of sounded like a rant.  Maybe it was.  But managing stress, the tail end of this year, started with me letting everyone know that I was NOT hostessing Thanksgiving or Christmas on the actual holidays.  Our kids weren't going to be able to come, so why should we be obligated to host unless we wanted to?  Especially when I was recovering.  Hostessing is not my gift so not only is cooking a beautiful meal tiring, cleaning tiring, but making sure everyone is enjoying themselves ridiculously tiring.  Let's not even talk about not having matching plates for more than 4 people, no cloth napkins and a few old stained tablecloths.  Getting the house cleaned when your husband leaves a dust cloud and a trail of clutter no matter where he goes.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

So wait... how am I managing stress as best as possible?  Here's a few practical tips that have helped me manage high stress.

1.  Eat well
I try not to stress my body out needlessly.  Eating well means that I keep my carb intake low (foods that turn to sugar), that I'm avoiding sugar and limiting alcohol and caffeine. LIMITING... don't go crazy not getting caffeine if you need it, just have your cup in the morning and limit any more caffeine intake the rest of the day.  It can raise blood pressure.  The same for alcohol.  Have a glass of wine, but too much can raise blood pressure and dehydrate the body.

2.  Get physical
Going for a walk, even just the 15 minute break walk at work really helps blow off steam.  I was so excited to get a treadmill at the Goodwill recently and I've been actually enjoying getting on the treadmill and old elliptical.  I actually got mad at my hubby yesterday because he had so many things for me to do and he didn't do the things I asked him to, so I had to do those too and didn't have enough time to get on the treadmill.  By the time I sat down and said, I need at least 15 minutes for me, it was 9:15 pm.  Very much too late to exercise.  You know what?  Not getting that little bit of physical movement in really set my mood sourly.  Ha ha.  Lesson learned (for both of us) that this is a very important stress management tool.

3.  Relaxation techniques 
Whatever works for you to relax, do it!  I need quiet sometimes.  Other times I need to be outside.  Some other times, I just need to sit next to my hubby and snuggle.  I need to not be shopping or around people in order to relax.  If reading relaxes you, or listening to music, or mediation please make sure you set aside a little bit of time every day or at least every other day to relax.    I personally don't think electronics count as relaxing time because the screen can actually be stimulating and can maybe create an undercurrent of stress.  Just do it!

4.  Supplementation 
Keeping my diet in check is a big part of maintaining good nutrition which helps me manage stress.  Another part is high quality supplementation.  I take plant based supplements.  If an acute stress need arises, I just take a little extra.

5.  Journal
I find writing and journaling therapeutic.  Hence, this blog.  But sometimes it needs to be private as to what is bothering me.  Putting it down in a notebook or a journal helps me process and go deeper to the root cause of what is bothering me.  It helps me pinpoint what I need to heal in my heart to move forward and get out of my stress state.

6.  Prayer
After I've pinpointed a root cause, prayer is where I can really get to my healing and feel better.  The peace of God really does surpass all understanding.  With this, reading devotionals and the Bible are amazing ways to destress.

7.  Just say "no"!
I'm serious.  I'm struggling with really putting the people pleasing to rest for good.  You know, you can follow the biblical principle of loving others above yourself but not drowning in works to please everyone.  Just stop it and say no to activities that you really don't have the time and energy for and worst yet, activities that you don't even like because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings.  I promise they'll get over it if you can't go and your honest about why.  And if they don't get over it, then you don't need them.  God has more for you in the form of friends that are not energy and time vampires.  Just sayin'.

8.  Prioritize and manage time
Covey's time management matrix is a great way to break down your time to avoid burn out.  There are a ton of articles in Google and Pinterest to explain how to use it, but here's what it looks like:

9.  Talk to someone

If your mind is cluttered by stress, finding a trusted friend, co-worker, or professional to speak with may help.  I have a limited few that I can talk with, but my intention is to get myself in check.  These trusted friends will gently let me know if I'm out of line and lead me to where I need to be praying and seeking God.  If you do talk with someone, please ask them if they have time to talk to you about something, before you verbally vomit on them.  Those hearing of your stress are willing to help, but it can be tiring to them to hear what all is going on, so please be conscientious of their time and energy.  Also seek out those that you can trust to slap you upside the head if needed.  Sometimes our stress is self-induced and we just need to get ourselves off of our minds.  But if you are seriously stressed or in a depressive state, please see a doctor and speak with a professional.  There's no shame in getting help!

10.  Rest!

Once we learn to say "no" and manage our time, we can get much needed rest which will in turn, help us cope better with our stressors.  Turn off electronics early, turn off the tv and go crawl in bed with a good book or calming sounds.  Your body needs the quiet and rest.  

I hope this helps you out or at least distracted you long enough for your current stressors so you could relax a little.  I'm not a professional in any way but these activities have helped me a lot.  

What are some tips that help you de-stress?  Please share in the comments! 

Irma is NO Friend of Mine

On the heals of the devastating Hurricane Harvey, Hurricane Irma has proven to be no slouch with the follow up.

A category 5 and as long as the entire state of Florida, Irma has caused many to have fled, many to have remained in fear and trembling, or have had loved ones that are understandably worried and stressed.

We fear the most, what we can't control.  It's a helpless feeling.

Personally, I have felt the fear of my friends that have loved ones in the Caribbean and Florida.  I too have felt that fear as my daughter was in Miami.  Only 1 week into her 2nd contract with Royal Caribbean, evacuation was handled very well and I no longer feel the fear as of Friday around lunch time.  Safely on her previous contract's vessel, she is sailing to safe waters to return when the port of Miami re-opens.

But what of those that chose to stay, who didn't have the means to leave, were forced by employers to stay or lose their jobs, emergency or essential personnel that need to stay to help, people in the hospital or assisted living that cannot leave and their caregivers, etc.?  Many are our family members or friends.

We feel so helpless regarding their safety.

Although Irma has weakened, she's still a devastating storm.  Many evacuated from Florida to seek refuge in much of our state of Georgia.  Up here in the north Georgia mountains, we shouldn't be experiencing a Category 1 Hurricane or a Tropical Storm!  Thankfully, Irma has weakened to where she will be a tropical storm when she brushes over us, yet this can still be very damaging.

What does that mean to us and to evacuees?  It means that even small towns like ours have made provisions to provide shelter for those currently camping close by or those that live in trailers or RV's that are not secured.

For us, we did all that we could.  We love our home in the Chattahoochee Forest but our home is surrounded by extremely large trees.  Trees that have been on this small mountainside forever and I pray they remain standing and stronger after this event.  We secured our heavy patio items to the railings, brought in the remaining items or stored them under the front deck.  The only other things we can do are to prepare for a few days without power which also translates to no water since we are on a well and septic tank.  So we shopped earlier in the week to buy non perishable food items, fresh drinking water, and small amounts of gas for the generator if needed.  We didn't buy all that we could have as gas is in short supply in our small town.  We bottled a lot of filtered water for drinking and made ice bags to stuff the freezer tight.  We've set up the table with our lanterns, all of our electronics are charged, as well as batteries.  Flashlights are on standby as well as a few radios.  I baked cookies for honey and he bought me wine.

our lanterns

self explanatory

did you know stored wine bottles, for a future glass cutting projects, make great drinking water containers?

something pretty to look at to ease the stress (I'm a wreck!)

My prayers are with us all.  As those in the Caribbean clean up, evacuees face the unknown, those in Florida that are currently experiencing Irma's fury, and to those of us on the dirty side of her powerful remnants.

From the great "philosopher" Bret Michaels, "every night has its dawn".  The sun will shine again and the opportunities to love and serve each other will glorify His holy name.

Sleepless in North Georgia

Can you relate?

Actually, I'm sleepless, often, no matter what my location.  Websters full definition of Insomnia is: "prolonged and usually abnormal inability to get enough sleep."

Well, in an overstimulated world, our minds have a hard time shutting down.  We experience "too many moving parts" in traffic, at the office, at the store, in a meeting, in the classroom, from our electronic devices, etc.  No wonder it's hard to wind down in the first place.  Then because of all of these "moving parts", our minds continue to work overtime.

How many times do you actually sleep deeply, only to dream that you are working!!!  Ugh, then you are tired from working in your sleep.  Ha ha!

Oh well.  To my fellow daydreamers and night thinkers, I know how difficult it is to shut down, wind down, and just make the world stop long enough for a few zzzzz's.  I am tired of being tired, so I feel ya!

I've really tried to re-train my brain from being a night thinker (worrier) into a night prayer.  When I can actually commit to this, I pray for many and do fall asleep most of the time. Other times, I guess the Lord just wants me praying.

My wind down helps (for me)

• Get off electronics as much as possible.  Especially for at least an hour or so before going to bed.  Resist the urge to check social media.
• no caffeine after 4pm (sometimes I need a green tea to make sure I'm not sleepy on my commute home)
• make sure I take my vitamins, especially my B vitamins, before 2pm.
• make sure I've talked with honey (my safe place) about the stresses and victories of my day
• before bed, I get the coffee pot ready, the vitamins packaged, and as much of our breakfasts and lunches packed for the next day.
• snuggle with honey for at least an hour before bed. 

What are your techniques for shutting down?  I'd love to hear from you.  Some of us may benefit from your experience.  

Good night and may your sleep be peaceful and deep.

Positive Thinking

I'm not generally a negative person, but I worry a lot!  Maybe that does make me negative... =(

This morning, while driving into work, I caught myself worrying about my busy day at work and really dreading going in more than normal.  As I caught myself, I tried to consciously change that thought to... "it will be fine, just relax, enjoy your day, life is good, and for goodness sake... PRAY ABOUT IT instead of worrying and dreading it.  So.... here I am, smiling.  We've got one chance to enjoy this life.  I'm wasting it with worry about the future, our finances, my weight and health, work, the drive, our kids, etc.  

Sigh... this is going to be hard, but I really, really want to change my thought patterns and be healed of this fear and worry for good!  

God is sovereign!

I pray that you have a wonderful day.  If you struggle with worry, fear and anxiety, I feel you.  I'm praying for you too.  

Good News!

The sun finally came out!  Yesterday!

I finally got to sit out on my back deck and look at my mountain.  The sunset was particularly beautiful as the leaves are starting to change.

It was wonderful to sit out in the cool evening with my sweet man.  Forget about life, until the phone started ringing incessantly... but NO RAIN!!!

Ugh, it rained forever.  We must have gotten over 7 inches on our mountain between Friday night and all day Saturday.  We lost one tree that we had to cut up to get out of our road.  We lost our power but for less than 12 hours.  Many folks in our town were not so lucky.  They had major trees down and there is still a few hundred without power today.  Praying for them.  I can imagine they are frustrated.

But, overall, our town was spared compared to what has happened in SC.  Praying for them as well.

Other good news... I actually put some pen to paper regarding my stated goal for October 31st.  It's a start.  Any small start is still a start and I'm further along than I was on Monday!

Please keep folks affected by the rain in the south east in your prayers.  God does hear them.

Prayer

How can I pray for you?

My Best Friend

You bind up my broken heart.
You use pretty band aids (pink with hearts)
You help me understand that God's favor surrounds me and you comfort me.

Your shoulder is always available for me to cry on.
You don't mind that I get sniffy, red and blotchy, and sometimes irrational.
You still think I am beautiful as you wipe away my tears and dust off my shoes.
You adorn me with a crown and clothe me in a lovely robe.

I thank you for helping me rebuild my house and saving me from the rubble and ruin.
Soon it will be a showplace that reflects your splendor.
You hold my hand and show me how to use the tools.
You take my fear of getting hurt and make me brave.

I remain in your unending love for me.
You love me enough to lay down your life for me.
Only you can love me this much.  YOU CHOSE ME!!
Together we can overcome any obstacle.

I love you.  You are my best friend.

another sleepless night

Well, here I am... awake again in the middle of the night.  It is time to pray.  Prayer is needed for many things all of the time, but I am needing some very specific direction for both Kelly and me.  I have asked others to pray for me on this, but have realized that I need to sit, be still, know.  

My head gets so noisy with the worries and distractions.  What if I hurt someone's feelings?  What if we make the wrong decisions?  Why are people so hurtful?  Why are we taken for granted?  Are my concerns valid or just part of this weird cycle of grief I am finally acknowledging?

I have basically stopped eating this week.  I haven't chosen to fast.  I just don't want to eat.  Maybe this is why I wake up with a headache around 2:30 am.   

I want to be excited about some possible changes in our lives, but fear and worry always send me back.  I am just done with certain things I see going on.  I don't understand recent things that have happened, and I don't think I ever will.  I am not motivated to help out like I used to because I feel so taken advantage of.  I am in over my head and very angry.  

But, I am a change is good person.  Change can be good for Kelly and it could be done for me.  I want to give in to the smiles I have had recently and admit these are butterflies, but again, fear is holding me back.  

Right now, I choose to give in to God's grace and leading.  I choose to get on my face before Him and openly share my heart and not just be silent because He already knows my heart.  I choose to be ready and available for the new paths that He will take Kelly and me on and I am ready to be excited and not scared.  I choose to embrace this life for the first time!