New Year's Resolutions or an Alternative Plan

Happy Day One!

Ah, yes... it's that time of year... NEW YEAR's RESOLUTIONS... to resolute or not to resolute!

According to Psychology Today,  an estimated 88-92 percent of new year's resolutions fail!  That's pretty striking when most new year's resolutions are usually a decision to stick with something we should be doing anyway... like eating healthy and exercising, growing intellectually or spiritually, paying off our debt, etc.

But I've heard rumblings of alternate plans for New Year's Resolutions so a failure isn't an option. I've also heard rumblings of flat out refusal to commit to a change for the better during the upcoming year.

I'm in full support of what you decide but can I try to encourage you in the direction of appreciating your worth and taking some steps toward positive change and growth?  Go ahead and stop right here, if you are satisfied with a life of simply converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Below are some alternate plans I presented for 2019.  Plans to help us know our value and live our lives to our fullest potential for ourselves and those around us. 

Seriously, no one likes hanging around O2 converters.  Just sayin'.

1.  Plan some positive goals but in smaller chunks of time this year.  Like for every season, there's a new goal or a new goal for each new month... Here's a seasonal example.

• Winter:  Start a gratitude journal
• Spring:  Start expressing your gratitude for others actually to them!
• Summer:  Start a photo journal of fun times with your family and friends.  I know we have busy schedules and this might be limited to a funny joke on the way to cheer camp, but do it anyway.
• Fall:  Go outside as much as possible.  If you have allergies, take your zyrtec and go play.  Chances are you are suffering inside, so you might as well enjoy the outside too!

Get creative with some goals related to how you want to change, ways to be creative, or just making time for you!  Self care is highly under utilized.

2. Focus on those you really value or find joy in being around and love on them intentionally this year.  We've all got those folks in our lives that have just been there forever... but you've outgrown them or interests have changed.  No longer are they an investment in your growth and life.  They are just making withdrawals that you cannot afford.  Make a list of those worth your valuable time investment.  Then find ways to spend time with them.  This doesn't need to be a huge investment of time to show your appreciation to these folks. (this includes your family)

• A monthly dinner outing (not the quick drive thru or fast meal before a game or church)  A time to celebrate each other and share a casual and delicious meal.  This doesn't have to be at a fancy place either.  Honey and I have great breakfast dates at the Huddle House!  
• A coffee or a lunch date (an hour of your life once a quarter or once a month)
• Taking a walk at break time with work friend.   

3.  Think about things you used to do and DO THEM this year!

•  Did you used to be really into art or photography?  Take a community class.  You can find help with the kids, if you have them and offer to help in return so your helper can take classes too.  Encourage them to do things they love!  
• Did you used to ballroom dance?  Go find a ballroom club and waltz away some extra stress and/or pounds
• Did you used to love to lift weights or jazzercise?  Join a gym!  A lot of clubs let you sign up for $1 in January for maybe a 3 month commitment after that.  Go for it!

4.  Focus on your health and wellness this year

Don't let your health (physical and mental) go.  You've only got one body to live in and you have loved ones that truly want to enjoy a long and full life with you.  

• See your doctor regularly so they can monitor changes to your baseline health.   
• take quality supplements
• eat whole, clean, and monitor your portions.
• cut out sugar and drive thru food as much as possible 
• drink lots of water
• MOVE! (I don't mean move to a new city {unless that is needed for your better health})
• Minimize stress and find ways to manage and cope with stress
• eliminate bad habits (excess drinking, smoking, laziness, complaining)
• Pray and/or meditate.  Make time to be still and quiet and really listen.  

These are just a few ideas to set yourself up for rocking 2020! 

Feel free to share some of your New Year's resolutions or alternative plans for 2020 in the comments.  

I'd love to cheer you on!

Holiday Stress and the Little Drummer Boy

Holiday Stress and the Little Drummer Boy

Self-care can totally take a backseat during the holiday season.  There are many reasons why stress levels can be at a particular high this time of year:

·         Socializing more at holiday gatherings.
·         Eating off of the healthy nutrition plan during holiday gatherings and due to yummy cookie gifts.
·         Spending more money for food and gifts.
·         Sleeping less.
·         Being too tired to make exercise a priority.
·         Being even more obligated on an already tight schedule.
·         Being far away from family and friends during the holidays
·         Ministry events
·         Not spending quality time with the Lord

Have I struck a chord yet? 

I’m not going to suggest that we not celebrate the season.  I’m suggesting that we focus on His presence and to be corny… the “reason for the season”.  Try not to lose your discipline and routine in the hustle and bustle.  Here’s what I planned this holiday season:
·         Continue to spend time with the Lord and fill up on His love.
·         Not skip the exercise routine.
·         Stick to the healthy nutrition plan to avoid drinking straight from the chocolate fountain.
·         Know personal limits on time and not over commit.
·         Get to bed on time.

In the past, I would just kill myself over the holidays and I found I wasn’t really enjoying them at all.  What a huge loss that is!  I didn’t want that to happen this year.  Life happens but not being joyful is not an option for me nor is not celebrating this joyous season.  This season is hard for me with continued grief, weight struggles, injuries, exhaustion, other people’s stress and moods, on top of feeling guilty of not doing enough for others.  But I’m doing my BEST.  I’m doing my BEST to be grateful, set boundaries, and honor Him. 

At our staff Christmas party yesterday, our Coordinator reminded us that we have so many reasons to be filled with joy and to do our best for him.  He shared about the song “Little Drummer Boy” (and everyone’s love/hate relationship with the song).  I love it but it’s hard to listen to because it makes me cry.  I’m crying now thinking of it.  I can’t even watch the classic Claymation Christmas show about it.  I cry like a baby!  That boy was a poor boy too, his finest gift to bring was playing his drum, Mary nodded, he played his BEST for him, and Jesus smiled at him. 

Merry Christmas to you and remember to do your BEST to rest in the joy of the season and His glorious presence. 

10 Ways That I Manage Stress

The view from our deck.  I love to sit and stare at this view.  It's a great way for me to relieve stress!  Photo by me!

As Christmas quickly approaches it seems stress levels rise just as quickly!  Our pace quickens as the deadlines of multiple gatherings approach, gifts need to be purchased, and budgets are tight!  Or is this just me that gets even more stressed this time of year?

Well this year, I put my foot down on not stressing as much as possible.  How did we do that?  It wasn't easy for my husband who still hasn't ditched his people pleasing.  I on the other hand burned out and got physically sick this year, so I started setting boundaries and have quit trying to keep people liking me by making them happy.  While I'm in recovery from burn out, being a people pleaser, and being on a medication that depleted my potassium levels enough to display months of symptoms, I decided that I really don't care if people don't like me anymore because I am not making them happy.  I'm flipping tired! Hate to break it to everyone, but I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own. No one is breaking their neck and tiring themselves out to make me happy.  I wouldn't want them to #1, but #2... I'm responsible for my own happiness!  duh!

Okay... that sort of sounded like a rant.  Maybe it was.  But managing stress, the tail end of this year, started with me letting everyone know that I was NOT hostessing Thanksgiving or Christmas on the actual holidays.  Our kids weren't going to be able to come, so why should we be obligated to host unless we wanted to?  Especially when I was recovering.  Hostessing is not my gift so not only is cooking a beautiful meal tiring, cleaning tiring, but making sure everyone is enjoying themselves ridiculously tiring.  Let's not even talk about not having matching plates for more than 4 people, no cloth napkins and a few old stained tablecloths.  Getting the house cleaned when your husband leaves a dust cloud and a trail of clutter no matter where he goes.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

So wait... how am I managing stress as best as possible?  Here's a few practical tips that have helped me manage high stress.

1.  Eat well
I try not to stress my body out needlessly.  Eating well means that I keep my carb intake low (foods that turn to sugar), that I'm avoiding sugar and limiting alcohol and caffeine. LIMITING... don't go crazy not getting caffeine if you need it, just have your cup in the morning and limit any more caffeine intake the rest of the day.  It can raise blood pressure.  The same for alcohol.  Have a glass of wine, but too much can raise blood pressure and dehydrate the body.

2.  Get physical
Going for a walk, even just the 15 minute break walk at work really helps blow off steam.  I was so excited to get a treadmill at the Goodwill recently and I've been actually enjoying getting on the treadmill and old elliptical.  I actually got mad at my hubby yesterday because he had so many things for me to do and he didn't do the things I asked him to, so I had to do those too and didn't have enough time to get on the treadmill.  By the time I sat down and said, I need at least 15 minutes for me, it was 9:15 pm.  Very much too late to exercise.  You know what?  Not getting that little bit of physical movement in really set my mood sourly.  Ha ha.  Lesson learned (for both of us) that this is a very important stress management tool.

3.  Relaxation techniques 
Whatever works for you to relax, do it!  I need quiet sometimes.  Other times I need to be outside.  Some other times, I just need to sit next to my hubby and snuggle.  I need to not be shopping or around people in order to relax.  If reading relaxes you, or listening to music, or mediation please make sure you set aside a little bit of time every day or at least every other day to relax.    I personally don't think electronics count as relaxing time because the screen can actually be stimulating and can maybe create an undercurrent of stress.  Just do it!

4.  Supplementation 
Keeping my diet in check is a big part of maintaining good nutrition which helps me manage stress.  Another part is high quality supplementation.  I take plant based supplements.  If an acute stress need arises, I just take a little extra.

5.  Journal
I find writing and journaling therapeutic.  Hence, this blog.  But sometimes it needs to be private as to what is bothering me.  Putting it down in a notebook or a journal helps me process and go deeper to the root cause of what is bothering me.  It helps me pinpoint what I need to heal in my heart to move forward and get out of my stress state.

6.  Prayer
After I've pinpointed a root cause, prayer is where I can really get to my healing and feel better.  The peace of God really does surpass all understanding.  With this, reading devotionals and the Bible are amazing ways to destress.

7.  Just say "no"!
I'm serious.  I'm struggling with really putting the people pleasing to rest for good.  You know, you can follow the biblical principle of loving others above yourself but not drowning in works to please everyone.  Just stop it and say no to activities that you really don't have the time and energy for and worst yet, activities that you don't even like because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings.  I promise they'll get over it if you can't go and your honest about why.  And if they don't get over it, then you don't need them.  God has more for you in the form of friends that are not energy and time vampires.  Just sayin'.

8.  Prioritize and manage time
Covey's time management matrix is a great way to break down your time to avoid burn out.  There are a ton of articles in Google and Pinterest to explain how to use it, but here's what it looks like:

9.  Talk to someone

If your mind is cluttered by stress, finding a trusted friend, co-worker, or professional to speak with may help.  I have a limited few that I can talk with, but my intention is to get myself in check.  These trusted friends will gently let me know if I'm out of line and lead me to where I need to be praying and seeking God.  If you do talk with someone, please ask them if they have time to talk to you about something, before you verbally vomit on them.  Those hearing of your stress are willing to help, but it can be tiring to them to hear what all is going on, so please be conscientious of their time and energy.  Also seek out those that you can trust to slap you upside the head if needed.  Sometimes our stress is self-induced and we just need to get ourselves off of our minds.  But if you are seriously stressed or in a depressive state, please see a doctor and speak with a professional.  There's no shame in getting help!

10.  Rest!

Once we learn to say "no" and manage our time, we can get much needed rest which will in turn, help us cope better with our stressors.  Turn off electronics early, turn off the tv and go crawl in bed with a good book or calming sounds.  Your body needs the quiet and rest.  

I hope this helps you out or at least distracted you long enough for your current stressors so you could relax a little.  I'm not a professional in any way but these activities have helped me a lot.  

What are some tips that help you de-stress?  Please share in the comments!