New Year's Resolutions or an Alternative Plan

Happy Day One!

Ah, yes... it's that time of year... NEW YEAR's RESOLUTIONS... to resolute or not to resolute!

According to Psychology Today,  an estimated 88-92 percent of new year's resolutions fail!  That's pretty striking when most new year's resolutions are usually a decision to stick with something we should be doing anyway... like eating healthy and exercising, growing intellectually or spiritually, paying off our debt, etc.

But I've heard rumblings of alternate plans for New Year's Resolutions so a failure isn't an option. I've also heard rumblings of flat out refusal to commit to a change for the better during the upcoming year.

I'm in full support of what you decide but can I try to encourage you in the direction of appreciating your worth and taking some steps toward positive change and growth?  Go ahead and stop right here, if you are satisfied with a life of simply converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Below are some alternate plans I presented for 2019.  Plans to help us know our value and live our lives to our fullest potential for ourselves and those around us. 

Seriously, no one likes hanging around O2 converters.  Just sayin'.

1.  Plan some positive goals but in smaller chunks of time this year.  Like for every season, there's a new goal or a new goal for each new month... Here's a seasonal example.

• Winter:  Start a gratitude journal
• Spring:  Start expressing your gratitude for others actually to them!
• Summer:  Start a photo journal of fun times with your family and friends.  I know we have busy schedules and this might be limited to a funny joke on the way to cheer camp, but do it anyway.
• Fall:  Go outside as much as possible.  If you have allergies, take your zyrtec and go play.  Chances are you are suffering inside, so you might as well enjoy the outside too!

Get creative with some goals related to how you want to change, ways to be creative, or just making time for you!  Self care is highly under utilized.

2. Focus on those you really value or find joy in being around and love on them intentionally this year.  We've all got those folks in our lives that have just been there forever... but you've outgrown them or interests have changed.  No longer are they an investment in your growth and life.  They are just making withdrawals that you cannot afford.  Make a list of those worth your valuable time investment.  Then find ways to spend time with them.  This doesn't need to be a huge investment of time to show your appreciation to these folks. (this includes your family)

• A monthly dinner outing (not the quick drive thru or fast meal before a game or church)  A time to celebrate each other and share a casual and delicious meal.  This doesn't have to be at a fancy place either.  Honey and I have great breakfast dates at the Huddle House!  
• A coffee or a lunch date (an hour of your life once a quarter or once a month)
• Taking a walk at break time with work friend.   

3.  Think about things you used to do and DO THEM this year!

•  Did you used to be really into art or photography?  Take a community class.  You can find help with the kids, if you have them and offer to help in return so your helper can take classes too.  Encourage them to do things they love!  
• Did you used to ballroom dance?  Go find a ballroom club and waltz away some extra stress and/or pounds
• Did you used to love to lift weights or jazzercise?  Join a gym!  A lot of clubs let you sign up for $1 in January for maybe a 3 month commitment after that.  Go for it!

4.  Focus on your health and wellness this year

Don't let your health (physical and mental) go.  You've only got one body to live in and you have loved ones that truly want to enjoy a long and full life with you.  

• See your doctor regularly so they can monitor changes to your baseline health.   
• take quality supplements
• eat whole, clean, and monitor your portions.
• cut out sugar and drive thru food as much as possible 
• drink lots of water
• MOVE! (I don't mean move to a new city {unless that is needed for your better health})
• Minimize stress and find ways to manage and cope with stress
• eliminate bad habits (excess drinking, smoking, laziness, complaining)
• Pray and/or meditate.  Make time to be still and quiet and really listen.  

These are just a few ideas to set yourself up for rocking 2020! 

Feel free to share some of your New Year's resolutions or alternative plans for 2020 in the comments.  

I'd love to cheer you on!

Life Balance. Is it Even Possible?

But HOW???

Y'all life has just gotten a bit out of control busy for me lately.

It's my own fault.  After all, I control my day right? (insert little snicker here for the non independently wealthy rebel in me)

I'm weary but I'm not sure where to cut corners any more than I already have.

Do you ever feel like the things that you are busy with are non negotiable but yet you are drowning?

I mean like... I HAVE to work and I also have to work a few extra jobs right now.  My work includes a side business that I hope one day will replace one of my existing jobs so I only need to work at one job.    I struggle with letting go because I love my part time stuff and I enjoy what I'm doing so they don't always feel like work, but they do chip away at time.  Regardless, I like to eat and being a paycheck to paycheck couple, the extra work helps us eat!  =)

I get it, we all have the same 24 hours a day, but a few hours of sleep is just not enough anymore.  When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I could go to school in the morning, work in the afternoon, go back to night classes, stay up late studying, go to bed at 2 or 3am, get up at 6 or 7am and do it all over again... then work double shifts on weekends.    I also managed life working full time, as a single mom, with a busy dancing daughter (I was very involved in her dance company and booster club at school) and I came through only a little weary.  Now at almost 50, I'm just tired!  Ha ha.

Just to kinda keep it real on the budgeting time thing... I started writing this post on 1/29/19.  Today is 5/2/19!

Being a bit contrary to what I'm writing about, I'm happy to report that I squeezed into the schedule a much needed item.  Exercise.  Since November, I started getting up about 30 minutes earlier to make time for fitness of some sort.  I was trying to do this after work but my workload and workday changed a bit and I don't get home until after 6pm, sometimes closer to 7 now.  After we eat, it's about an hour and half shy of bed time or I need to work one of my extra jobs.  Fitness after work isn't an option right now.  BUT, I was shocked at how different exercise first thing in the morning changed my attitude toward exercise.  I was getting on the treadmill for like 50 minutes after work.  I'd get off the treadmill starving and even more exhausted than ever.  With doing shorter fitness time in the morning (20 minutes pilates, 20 minutes elliptical, 30 minutes treadmill, or 30 minutes callanetics), I found that yes, I'm still ready for breakfast almost immediately, but I'm not getting that super tired feeling anymore after exercising.  I still haven't discovered the (exercise makes me so happy) feeling but I might get there!  This was a necessity that I have fit in and isn't really a smart option to remove from the schedule.

So I really need to "tidy" up the schedule.  Hubby has since started a part time job at a state park.  This is great because we'll have a little extra income coming in the summer when the substitute teaching well is dry.  But it's one more thing on the schedule and he only gets those weekly... so planning ahead may be a challenge.

I KNOW I'm not the only one in this boat.   Not only am I physically tired, I'm tired of being too tired to enjoy things in most of my spare time or being too tired to even thing of what might be enjoyable in our spare time.

I miss being creative in the kitchen.  I love to cook and create new recipes and share them here, but the desire to get through the week in one pieces has overridden that creative spark in me.  The other issue I have faced which grieves me the most, is that although my almost 3 hours of the day, spent in the car to drive to work, are spent with Christian sermons, leadership podcasts, and only positive stuff... I miss having quiet time with the Lord.  How did I get THAT out of balance.  I mean, I'm with Him, and stop to pray often during my drive, but I've got to focus on the road too.  I do pray throughout the day, but I used to be a faithful journaler.  I'd get up every morning, sit in my prayer chair, read some scripture, then journal.

This is not a post that gives you the tips on how I've arrived at a perfect balance with life like everyone around me seems to have done.  This is actually a post that is asking for YOUR tips.    Maybe I'll get some good ideas from y'all and we can create a help post for other folks out there struggling with balance!

Things I've considered and tried

Using a Planner:
I need to actually utilize the planner that I purchase every year.  I was off to a good start, but April got lost.  I mean really lost!    Hubby and I plan to sit down this month and look at our schedules to make sure EVERYTHING is on there. (white space so we can be quiet and sit with the Lord, together time with no distractions, my spare jobs times, his time to work on his woodworking, my time to work on my business, his time to speak with his family, rest -(is it sad we need to put rest on our calendars?).  My problem.  I'm spontaneous and the planner has always seemed so stifling.  (reality... I'm not that organized).

Meal Planning:
Ordering ready made delivery meals for 1 or 2 days a week.  I think Freshly is one of the overpriced services that it's ready to pop in the microwave.  I don't want a meal kit.  I can prepare stuff on my own on days I have time.  Any recommendations here?  I do normally plan our meals ahead and cook larger meals to plan leftovers, but sometimes the week can run you more than you run it and that big meal gets delayed a day or two.  My ego is hard on this one too because I feel like it's a cop out since I do really enjoy cooking and I could take more of my 1 day off a week to work in the kitchen, but choose not to.  Although pricey, I think taking my 1 day off for a DAY OFF is a smarter use of that time.

Accountability:
Really sitting down with someone to find some order in the chaos and finding out what exactly my priorities and goals are.  If I drill down with someone, maybe I can find out what am I spinning my wheels on and what needs to be a keeper.  Right now everything seems like keepers.  I'm just finding I'm not physically capable of keeping it all without order.

Changing errand day:
I am blessed to work from home 1 day a week.  We've started disciplining ourselves to make that grocery shopping and errand night since once I finish work... I'm home and we have a few hours before supper to get some stuff done.  This has freed up our "off work" time so we aren't so worn out after Sunday to start the week.

That's all I've got!

YOUR turn!

Please help by commenting or emailing me.  

Maybe I should be taking my own advice!

"The Compound Effect" Mini Book Review

Y'all, I started reading this book at the tail end of my vacation.  I SOOOOO wish I had started it at the beginning of my time off of work, but I was sort of busy getting some much needed REST!

Anyway... I got through Chapter 1 starving for chapter 2, but the tail end of my week off was jam packed.

What's a girl to do?  Once work starts, time to read is a premium.

Duh... get the audio book!  I'm such a dork sometimes that I just don't think of these things.

Anyway, I finished listening the book by the end of the week.  It was wonderfully read by the author himself and left me encouraged and already taking action by Chapter 2!

Although getting the audio book helped me devour this gem, I'm really glad I own the paperback.  There's more to the book than just the content of the chapters and there are parts I want to review more thoroughly.

This book is relevant and to the point.  Whether you are trying to achieve goals in your business, your relationships, your education, etc. this book will inspire you to really start taking action.  I mean... really start action.

I started tracking after chapter 2.  If you are not tracking after reading that chapter.. well Chapter 2 is called "Choices".  Can't get any more to the point than that!  What did I start tracking?  Well as suggested, at least one behavior in my life where I want to improve.  Well I have several areas that seem to be in either constant challenge or growth.  So I started tracking 4 areas.  This began on 8/1/18.  I'm still tracking and I will review my results on the 31st to see my reality vs. what I think I'm doing.  I don't think I'll be too shocked, but I'm also one to take responsibility for what I'm doing or not doing in my life.

Since I listened to the audio book, I did not complete the Summary Action steps (other than tracking) after each chapter.  One of September's goals is to begin thoughtfully working through those action steps (not just going through the motions of completing them).

I'm a personal development junkie so not all of the concepts in the book were new as I'm sure Mr. Hardy's material is regurgitated by numerous other gurus out there.  BUT, I found that receiving this from the original author and in the original format was key for me!  I'm not going to give any more away of this must-read.  

Seriously, if you are seeking success in any area of your life (health, marriage, parenting, business, school, etc.) get this book.  You'll be encouraged by understanding how little every day decisions can add up and change your outcomes more than you had ever imagined.

What are you waiting for???!!??  Start reading and listening today!

Have you also found this book helpful?  

Let us know about it in the comments below!  

Upcoming Posts Preview! Recipes, A Travel Post, and Exciting News

Hey y'all!  I've lost count on my days being sick!  I'm now in the waiting period of blood work results and making an appointment with an ENT possibly.  I actually developed sinus symptoms over the past month, but a 2nd round of antibiotics has done nothing to heal me.  I still have an elevated temp, painful swollen glands, and the extreme fatigue.

BUT, we are trying to still enjoy life as we can. We still have a trip coming up that we scheduled before I got sick.  I never dreamed I'd still feel ill by the time the trip rolled around.  At any rate, I'm excited to go and scheduled a day off from work, after we return, so that I can take a full rest day.

I'm trying to resume decent cooking again and have started the adventure of vegetarian cooking.  We are finding that we eat a lot of Latin inspired meals lately.  We are not full out vegetarian but we are discovering it to be agreeable to eat that way most days.

We've resumed getting out in the world a little.  The weather has warmed up here and there to enjoy sitting on our deck (which brings me great joy).  We started to slowly catch up on calendar items that have been put off since February, however; we are cautious as to how we spend my "tired" time and are avoiding emotionally and mentally draining situations. 

As you may know, over the past few years, it has been my goal to get us to better health (how ironic considering my current situation).  My biggest goals were to help my husband feel better from arthritis pain and sleep better with the restless legs.  Of course he needs to want to and do his own work to feel better and be healthy, but I try to give him the best tools that I can in the form of supplements and healthy meals.  I will share exciting news soon regarding something we decided to try for him that is HELPING!  Sleep is good my friends, especially when it's accompanied by less pain and comes from nature and not a chemical!

Stay tuned!  

Your Turn!  I'd love to hear what your favorite posts are.  I want to work harder to provide posts that you enjoy for find valuable. 

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Do It Afraid!

Do it Afraid!

My thought for the day.  I admire those that can just approach life and seem to be not afraid of anything.  I, on the other hand, am afraid of so much!  

I used to be afraid of everything.  I was called "shy" when I was a child.  But I was really afraid of "doing it wrong" so I did nothing.  And then if I did work the courage up to ask to do something, or try to do something... I was shot down.  So... I quit trying.  Yep... I quit!  

Where did this get me?  Well, I still managed to keep a good work ethic and forced myself to be outgoing when I needed to (with a red face and decollete).  But I never took charge of my life and I have some regrets due to fear.  I let it control me.  It's totally MY fault!  

But it's not too late for me.  I've made some positive life changes in the past few years and I've allowed myself to "evolve" and grow.  I've been learning to become "me". But since I love simple things and keeping it real and simple... I'm determined to not make this too difficult on myself.  I'm not going to believe that change happens overnight and with little or no effort.  I'm going to not overthink it and just do it, AFRAID! 

I've learned that my forced extroversion allowed me to do what I needed to do but over the past year I've allowed myself to start embracing a more introverted side... I'm sort of a combination of the two. 

My husband and I are taking better charge of our health.  It won't happen overnight and changing bad habits that are comfortable is very difficult.  Especially when both of us deal with chronic pain. (He has an arthritic back and I have migraines).  But dealing with it little chunks or mini goals at a time is working well for us.  We are both starting to slowly feel better.  

I'm also taking on other life changes, little dollops at a time.  At times I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew.  Since my attention span is pretty scattered, at times I take on too many different dollops at a time and accomplish nothing.  So I'm learning to focus on one dollop at a time instead of 10 dollops at a time (10 dollops is a pretty big blob).  I'm trying to be bolder and more confident.  God created me this way for a purpose, so I need to fulfill His purpose on my life and glorify Him in the process.  

All this rambling to say... even if the road ahead looks foggy, take it anyway.  We can't grow by standing still.  If we stand still, stuff will start growing over us!  That's just not the way to live an exceptional life.  

Genesis 12:1-2

Remember... God set you apart for a purpose.  It's only yours, not anyone else's.

Do it afraid!

Automobile University Today

I heard this on the Ziglar podcast this morning. I almost feel like Kevin Miller is family since he keeps me company almost every morning.

Time to get serious...I mean for real...

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Rohn Article on Goal Setting

Rohn: 4 Tips for Setting Powerful Goals

Excellent article... My husband and I are ready to begin our goal setting for 2016.  I've tired of the pretend goal setting of previous years.  This year I asked that we actually think of what we want, what we need to do get it, write it down, and put a deadline on it.  I feel that we also need accountability.  I feel it's difficult for us to use each other as accountability partners, because we're too easy on each other.



So we'll begin our goal setting with prayers of what we want to achieve next year, whether it be health, closer to self employment, paying off debt, etc.  Then we'll write it down and a deadline as to when we want to achieve it.  I think a step-by-step plan may be very helfpul.  I think as we meet mini goals towards the bigger goal, we should celebrate.  I think we should also celebrate steps taken towards the goal, even if a mini goal isn't met YET.



I'm thinking my new year's resolution sounds a bit like goal setting and goal achieving.



Best to you as you ponder how you'd like to see yourself in 2016.  I know we all strive to be better so here's to your success!

Positive Thinking

I'm not generally a negative person, but I worry a lot!  Maybe that does make me negative... =(

This morning, while driving into work, I caught myself worrying about my busy day at work and really dreading going in more than normal.  As I caught myself, I tried to consciously change that thought to... "it will be fine, just relax, enjoy your day, life is good, and for goodness sake... PRAY ABOUT IT instead of worrying and dreading it.  So.... here I am, smiling.  We've got one chance to enjoy this life.  I'm wasting it with worry about the future, our finances, my weight and health, work, the drive, our kids, etc.  

Sigh... this is going to be hard, but I really, really want to change my thought patterns and be healed of this fear and worry for good!  

God is sovereign!

I pray that you have a wonderful day.  If you struggle with worry, fear and anxiety, I feel you.  I'm praying for you too.  

Pave a New Road - How To Simply Begin Making Positive Life Changes

How to "pave a new road"
A simple and light hearted approach to start making positive life changes.  

Stage 1:  Planning

• Do you need building upon? (What needs to change?)
• What are the real issues? (Procrastination, worrying, thriving on drama)
• Who will be affected by your project? (family, friends, co-workers)
• How will you begin your project? (jump right in, get a planner)
• How can your project be an asset to those around you? (Will your positive life changes improve your marriage, friendships, career)

Stage 2:  Design

• Location (situation),
• Soil (health),
• Possible future development,
• Effects on your surroundings (family, home, friends, co-workers, etc.)

Stage 3:  Earth (work)

• First, find a contractor (mentor, encourager, coach, physician).
• Next, bulldoze the dirt. (start detox from unhealthy habits, relationships, friendships, this may hurt, etc.)
• The "dirt" is sprayed with water and compacted to its maximum density (ouch).
• All of this work must pass strict inspections before the project can continue (how are you feeling?  what is improving? what's not working? you are your own gauge).
• Keep on working (exercise, supplements, journaling, podcasts, networking with like minded individuals, continue education)

Stage 4:  Paving

• The cost of continuing your project and maintaining the progress (exercise, organic food, counseling, time management, work/life balance)

The final steps are:

• Listen for positive reinforcement (compliments, encouragement)
• Landscaping around the road (dress up your progress and show it off),
• apply the permanent lane markings (make this your new lifestyle).

Loosely based on DOT instructions on how to pave a road but inspired by Dolly!  Thank you for the inspiration and now to get on to paving a new road!

Ken Coleman - Liberty University Convocation - Find God's Will for your life...

I heard this yesterday on the Zig Ziglar podcast... It's pretty good.  Start at about 4 minutes and it's about a half an hour long.  How Do I Find God's Will For My Life... "It's not a giant mystery"

How To Be An Encourager

An easy way to encourage someone is to offer a genuine compliment.  Did you catch that?  Genuine....  adj. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere. (for reals)

Back in the day, I used to sell skin care and cosmetics that really liked the color pink!  I was taught wonderful selling techniques in the form of self improvement.  I learned how to be a stronger, more confident, and better person.  The idea of a perfect stranger, being a prospect, was (is) terrifying... but after all, they do have skin (they should be using skin care).  I was instructed to offer that stranger a compliment  as a "door opener" and then hand them my business card with a lipstick sample.  I found that I am a total natural at being an encourager, but I suck at direct sales.  Just sayin'.

You can always find something nice to say about someone, so just do it.  The more you do it, the easier it comes.  Even the shyest person can become comfortable complimenting anyone (family, friend, co-worker, perfect stranger that you might never see again, etc. )

Example:  That awkward moment that you are in the elevator with someone you don't know well or even at all... It's silent... if you are somewhat extroverted, the silence can be unbearable.  Then you notice this person's purse.  It's a lovely black bag with sparkly dangles on it.  "I really like your purse!"  Done!  I really did like her purse.  That was easy to say.  I just told her she has good taste and style.  Her response doesn't matter... in my heart, I hope I've put a little bit of sunshine in her day.
Your co-worker is struggling.  Whether the struggle is health, family, financial... encourage them!   "Thank you for all you do for our team and our office.  You really make a difference."  "You know, everyone that talks to you, really feels welcomed to our office!"  "I know you do a lot for us all, behind the scenes.  Please know you are appreciated!"

It's Christmas Eve.  The clerk at Kohls has been on her feet for 12 hours and shoppers are anxious to get home and enjoy their holiday.  The clerk is feeling the same way.  The person in front of you is generally unfriendly to her.  As she scans my last minute gifts, I truly hope she gets off of work soon so she can be home with her family.  I ask, "Do you have to be here much longer?"  She answers, "I'm here until we close tonight."  I genuinely hate that for her, it's only 5pm, but she's working hard to support herself and possibly a family... "Well I hope the night goes quickly for you so that you can get home to rest."  She smiles.  "Me too."  She did smile... it wasn't a "compliment" but it was an offer of empathy.  Raise your hand if you worked retail at any time in your life, or maybe still do.  It's hard work!

Was that so hard???  Be creative.  Have fun.  Do you know what may happen as you make a conscious effort to encourage someone daily?  This will become a natural part of who you are and you will encourage yourself!  You might even smile more.

Enjoy your day!  And if someone is actually reading this and tries to do this... please let me know how it goes and how it might be changing your life as well.

Good News!

The sun finally came out!  Yesterday!

I finally got to sit out on my back deck and look at my mountain.  The sunset was particularly beautiful as the leaves are starting to change.

It was wonderful to sit out in the cool evening with my sweet man.  Forget about life, until the phone started ringing incessantly... but NO RAIN!!!

Ugh, it rained forever.  We must have gotten over 7 inches on our mountain between Friday night and all day Saturday.  We lost one tree that we had to cut up to get out of our road.  We lost our power but for less than 12 hours.  Many folks in our town were not so lucky.  They had major trees down and there is still a few hundred without power today.  Praying for them.  I can imagine they are frustrated.

But, overall, our town was spared compared to what has happened in SC.  Praying for them as well.

Other good news... I actually put some pen to paper regarding my stated goal for October 31st.  It's a start.  Any small start is still a start and I'm further along than I was on Monday!

Please keep folks affected by the rain in the south east in your prayers.  God does hear them.

It's a Choice

It all comes down to choice

I can choose to be overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done, or I can make a list and start accomplishing some mini goals

I can complain about my weight or I can do something about it.  Even small starts are a START and can lead to more steps in the right direction.

I can make excuses so I can try to manipulate to get my way or I can be grateful that I am blessed where I am and start acting like it.

I can whine about how others lack integrity or work ethic, or I can focus on my responsibilities and actions.  After all, I'm only accountable for what I do or don't do... not for other people and what they do or don't do.

I can want things all day, but at the end of the day, what really matters?  Things or people?

I can want to move from where I am, but until I choose to be content where I am and give it my best, God won't move me.

I can live a life of ungratefulness and chaos or I can choose Jesus and a life of peace.

Lord may we all choose to serve you, honor you and glorify you today.  Forgive me of my complaining and lazy ways.  Holy Spirit, please lead me and guide me for my next steps at home, financially, in my health, and as a wife and mother.  Please help me to be an encouragement to someone today.  I love you Lord,  You are magnificent and awesome.  In Jesus name, Amen!

Just think on this

I heard this on the Ziglar podcast yesterday.  Wow!