New Year's Resolutions or an Alternative Plan

Happy Day One!

Ah, yes... it's that time of year... NEW YEAR's RESOLUTIONS... to resolute or not to resolute!

According to Psychology Today,  an estimated 88-92 percent of new year's resolutions fail!  That's pretty striking when most new year's resolutions are usually a decision to stick with something we should be doing anyway... like eating healthy and exercising, growing intellectually or spiritually, paying off our debt, etc.

But I've heard rumblings of alternate plans for New Year's Resolutions so a failure isn't an option. I've also heard rumblings of flat out refusal to commit to a change for the better during the upcoming year.

I'm in full support of what you decide but can I try to encourage you in the direction of appreciating your worth and taking some steps toward positive change and growth?  Go ahead and stop right here, if you are satisfied with a life of simply converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

Below are some alternate plans I presented for 2019.  Plans to help us know our value and live our lives to our fullest potential for ourselves and those around us. 

Seriously, no one likes hanging around O2 converters.  Just sayin'.

1.  Plan some positive goals but in smaller chunks of time this year.  Like for every season, there's a new goal or a new goal for each new month... Here's a seasonal example.

• Winter:  Start a gratitude journal
• Spring:  Start expressing your gratitude for others actually to them!
• Summer:  Start a photo journal of fun times with your family and friends.  I know we have busy schedules and this might be limited to a funny joke on the way to cheer camp, but do it anyway.
• Fall:  Go outside as much as possible.  If you have allergies, take your zyrtec and go play.  Chances are you are suffering inside, so you might as well enjoy the outside too!

Get creative with some goals related to how you want to change, ways to be creative, or just making time for you!  Self care is highly under utilized.

2. Focus on those you really value or find joy in being around and love on them intentionally this year.  We've all got those folks in our lives that have just been there forever... but you've outgrown them or interests have changed.  No longer are they an investment in your growth and life.  They are just making withdrawals that you cannot afford.  Make a list of those worth your valuable time investment.  Then find ways to spend time with them.  This doesn't need to be a huge investment of time to show your appreciation to these folks. (this includes your family)

• A monthly dinner outing (not the quick drive thru or fast meal before a game or church)  A time to celebrate each other and share a casual and delicious meal.  This doesn't have to be at a fancy place either.  Honey and I have great breakfast dates at the Huddle House!  
• A coffee or a lunch date (an hour of your life once a quarter or once a month)
• Taking a walk at break time with work friend.   

3.  Think about things you used to do and DO THEM this year!

•  Did you used to be really into art or photography?  Take a community class.  You can find help with the kids, if you have them and offer to help in return so your helper can take classes too.  Encourage them to do things they love!  
• Did you used to ballroom dance?  Go find a ballroom club and waltz away some extra stress and/or pounds
• Did you used to love to lift weights or jazzercise?  Join a gym!  A lot of clubs let you sign up for $1 in January for maybe a 3 month commitment after that.  Go for it!

4.  Focus on your health and wellness this year

Don't let your health (physical and mental) go.  You've only got one body to live in and you have loved ones that truly want to enjoy a long and full life with you.  

• See your doctor regularly so they can monitor changes to your baseline health.   
• take quality supplements
• eat whole, clean, and monitor your portions.
• cut out sugar and drive thru food as much as possible 
• drink lots of water
• MOVE! (I don't mean move to a new city {unless that is needed for your better health})
• Minimize stress and find ways to manage and cope with stress
• eliminate bad habits (excess drinking, smoking, laziness, complaining)
• Pray and/or meditate.  Make time to be still and quiet and really listen.  

These are just a few ideas to set yourself up for rocking 2020! 

Feel free to share some of your New Year's resolutions or alternative plans for 2020 in the comments.  

I'd love to cheer you on!

Being Intentional

I've read a few articles here and there about intentional living.  This meaning knowing why you do certain things or why you don't do certain things.  I think it's a better understanding of who you are and what your life goals are and incorporating your whole person and life.

To me, being intentional is different.

Through a casual conversation at work, a co-worker mentioned about being more intentional with reaching out to her family.  I told her that was a great idea.  I'm usually the intentional one with my family and most of my friends, so I told her how great it made me feel when folks reached out to me to check on me or wish me a nice day.... It feels amazing!

This got me thinking about really focusing better on my intentions.  A lot of times, my friends and family will cross my mind and I don't or can't always reach out to them at that moment (because I'm at work or driving) but if I don't reach out to them, I might forget after I get home or get to break time.

How am I focusing better?  If I'm at work and I am unable to reach out to that person that crosses my mind, I either make a note on a sticky or in my note pad.  If I'm driving or I'm not near something I can write with... I pray for them.  Yes, right then and there.

How am I intentional?  I send emails, text messages, or fb messages.  I let them know they are fabulous or that I'm thinking of them or I love them.  But it helps me to keep on top of what's important to them.  As they are my friends and family, what is important to them should be important to me, right?

What if they don't respond?  Well, sometimes they don't and you know what... That's OKAY!  Not everyone can handle being told how wonderful they are or how they are loved and sometimes folks are just as busy or busier than I am.

When I think of being intentional, it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with YOU!  So look out world because I'm about to tell you how fabulous you are!

I Cannot Believe It Has Been 1 Year - Happy Home-aversery!

I can't believe it's been a year since honey and I bought our quirky, foothills home.  We still have lots of work to do and it is always an adventure, especially during the project.

Some of the projects we tackle are bigger than we think and can sometimes take us a bit longer than we planned, but that is part of our place's charm.  It's probably always going to be a work in progress.  Not everyone likes to work on projects, but we do, and we make a great team.  God knew this was the perfect place for us, whether we live her 5 years, 10 years or forever.

It's been a busy, productive, crazy, expensive, fun, busy, but wonderful year.  I love my home and I love that sharing it with honey makes it that much more perfect.

At the mortgage office after signing the papers

Our quirky foothills home

the "back yard"

trying to create a cool pic commemorating the day.  Note the cards of our awesome agents, The Blantons

Baby enjoying her new deck

checking out our other neighbors on the way home

This is a perfect day

sunsets on our deck.  one of my happy places

When We Seek Advice...

The Potter’s House, shared this tweet quoting Dr. Shane Perry Sr.

 "Never take advice from people who haven't been where you are going!"

 I haven't gone back to watch or listen to a replay, but this is a pretty powerful statement.  I think you might also say, "don't take advice from folks that have never walked your path."  Think... getting parenting advice from singles that have never had children, are maybe only children, and won't even offer to watch your children so you can have a date night.  I'm not sure they should be offering parenting advice.  Or even getting marriage advice from folks who have no clue what is really going on in your life or have never been married or have a marriage that you are not interested in emulating.  Everyone is a know-it-all, but not many folks have traveled your same path.     

 But wow... "Never take advice from people who haven't been where you are going."  To me, this says.. in the natural, who do you know that has victory in their lives?  They trusted God and overcame.  Isn't that where you want to go?  Go to them for advice.  You are headed to victory and those that have worked for their victories will be more than happy to pray with you and encourage you.  

 Of course we need to see the Lord's counsel and guidance with His helper the Holy Spirit.  We hope that those we approach for guidance, in the natural, did the same.  
If you are going through a tough time, TRUST GOD.  Memorize scriptures for those moments that your mind wanders from Him and speak them, out loud if you can.  Always use your truth meter and remember what God's Word says.  Never forget how much He loves you.

I think I'll need to find this sermon and listen.  I am almost certain that I am way off out of context of what Dr. Perry intended since it's only 1 sentence that I saw on Twitter.  Perhaps God wants me to hear the sermon and that is why that sentence struck a chord.   
I'd love to pray for you.  Feel free to let me know how.  

5 Things That We Tell Our Kids

Baby girl at her 2nd birthday.  Big smile and all with a fever.  Barney was coming! 

I wrote this post a year and a half ago.  As I re-read it, not much has changed other than our kids continue to soar higher.  I'll update you on the bottom!  

1.  I love you 

I’m an affectionate person by nature.  God created me that way.  I was so “in love” with my baby and I could not take my eyes off of her.  I was blessed to have had a little over 2 years at home with her, before my divorce from her father.  I think I told her, “I love you” about 100 times a day.  In quiet times, play times, meal times, crying times.  I still try to tell her that I love her at least once a day, even if it’s via text.  It’s hard to keep up with 21 year olds when they are working, going to school, and growing up! 

I hear my husband tell his son too that he loves him as he ends every phone call or text.  My step son is even harder to track down as he’s in his later 20’s and lives even farther away from us. 

2.  I'm proud of you 

I learned from Kelly’s toddler years, that she is a positive reinforcement child.  Now, she didn’t get trophies or stickers for just breathing or showing up… but potty training with a fun sticker chart and lots of applause made for a potty trained toddler within a week.  So as she struggles with perfectionism (not sure where she gets that from at all! ha ha) I have continued to sincerely congratulate her when I can and let her know how proud I am of her.  Because of her struggles and fears, she has talked herself out of dance auditions on countless occasions.  Times like these are much to my dismay because I believe in her, her gift, and her hard work.  But recently I shared an audition date with her and said “please go” but left it at that.  I didn’t mention it again unless she asked.  The day of the audition arrived and I wasn’t sure if she worked up the courage to go.  I later saw on facebook that she was at the audition and pictured with some of her high school friends, also auditioning.  I was so excited and proud of her for just showing up… really… it was huge.  She was so brave to do this.  Auditioning is NOT easy.  She called us later that afternoon and said, “I got it!!!!”.  Of course I am proud of her for her future dance job, but her step dad and I both let her know how proud we were of her for taking the chance and just going. 

My step son is also an artist.  He’s a graduate of Point Park University and has spent the past few years in Chicago working his craft.  He has recently made a bold move to NYC with his fellow artist roommates.  We are so proud of him for this courageous move.  Again, it won’t be easy for him, but it’s a great testimony of confidence and faith. 

3.  It's your choice (decision)

This one is huge for the teenage years.  I don’t care who your kid is… the natural tendency is to blame the parents when “it” hits the fan and things don’t go right.  I learned to offer advice only when asked for and always ended it, but it’s your choice.  You can choose to blow all of your money on a tattoo, or you can hold on to it and enjoy a coffee treat here and there, a new outfit, a tank of gas… ha ha.  This has been not only a great tool, as they seek to be independent, but also so they learn to live with the decisions they make, good or bad.  They are responsible.  It has also been very freeing and stress relieving to me.  I just have to keep reminding myself, that Kelly has a good foundation provided by me and her trust in God.  She’s a big girl.  It’s okay to let our kids fail.  How else will they learn to make good choices unless they can pay the consequences or enjoy the reward! 

My honey is good to offer advice, when asked, to his son too.  But I have heard him end on numerous times, “you decide”, or something to that effect.  He knows how I feel about “making” Kelly do something and why I don’t.  It’s not a manipulation at all, it’s equipping her to be a responsible adult and making thoughtful decisions. 

4.  I'm praying for you 

I am praying for my girl this moment… hang on, I’ll be right back… Okay… I’m back.  She let me know she had another big day at school today and I let her know that I would pray for her.  So… I just did.  God’s got it.  She knows that I’m always going to pray for her.  I always have.  Not sure one of us would have survived high school and her freshman year of college had it not been for prayer. 

I’m not sure where my step son is in faith.  But I have let him know at least on one occasion, either on the phone or a text message (I can’t remember) that I was praying for him.  I know he was grateful.  But I pray for him often.  God’s got him too! 

5.  Don't give up on your dreams and make sure you don't have regrets of not trying. 

Many of us may have foregone our dreams and passions to do as our parents told us or expected of us.  I did… and I have since forgotten what my dreams and passions were and I have been struggling to find new dreams and passions as it’s too late for any of my old ones that I remember.  BUT… I have always encouraged Kelly to pursue her gifts and dreams and to not give up.  I don’t care what you think of me, but as a dancer, I tried to encourage her to post pone college and pursue dance her first year out of high school.  She gave into pressure from her friends to do the college thing.  But I think after a few years of me reminding her that dance cannot wait until your 40’s, but college can.  I’ve encouraged her to at least try so that she wouldn’t sit down one day and regret, that " I let fear keep from...",  "I waited too long to…", "I shoulda… ",  "I coulda…".  She’s now understanding how she’s supported and that youth doesn’t wait.  I am so proud for her to look back on her young years with no regrets which is unlike many of us who have many regrets. 

My honey just told my step son something similar.  I could hear the stress in Zach’s voice the last time I spoke with him.  I was sitting right next to his dad as they tied up the call.  “Dad, am I making a mistake?”.  Ugh… my heart.  WE DON’T KNOW if we’re even making mistakes in our own lives.  How are we supposed to direct our grown children?  EEK… but I love what honey told him.  He told him something to the effect of, "give it a shot, at least you’ll know you tried, and you won’t have any regrets that you never knew or what would have happened if…".  

I am so proud of both of our kids.  I can’t take any credit for my step son but that doesn’t stop me from loving him or being proud of him.  I’m so excited for him and what’s in store for him in NYC! 

And yes, I’m still obsessed and “in love” with my baby girl.  I’m proud of her and even though she’ll be a toddler in my eyes forever, it it’s awesome to see her blossom into a beautiful, young woman that loves with her whole heart and is following her dream. 

Kelly, me, and honey

Me, honey, and Zach

Update as promised 12/13/17!  

Zach is doing great!  As he's private like his dad, there's a lot I don't know.  But I do know they are moving steadily forward with their dream of a screenplay.  I'm so excited for him and his friends.  He's still in NYC and is thriving!    

Kelly is now 23 and dancing professionally for Royal Caribbean!  She is currently 2 months in to her 2nd contract with them.  This contract has been particularly excited as it started in the Mediterranean, has 2 transatlantic itineraries and ends in Europe after a time in the western Caribbean.  Wow!    Here's a pic of her in one of her costumes with her cast.  She's front and center!     

The Last Sunset of Winter 2016

I love our sunsets up here in north Georgia.  I never grow tired of God's artistry.  Tonight's sunset looked like the sky was on fire!  My picture, from our deck, does not do tonight's sunset justice at all.

The best part of the sunsets here is sharing them with my love.  It's fun to jump up from our chairs and literally gasp and run to the edge of the deck to stare at the amazing colors.  They change so fast too.  You can't take your eyes away too long or you'll miss something amazing!  

"Every sunset brings a promise of a new dawn."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here's tonight's promise and the last sunset of the winter.

Welcome Spring!

A Note From Baby Dog

You see this handsome fellow on the left?  I miss him!  He's my adopted brother, Moose.  He was my snuggle buddy, my partner in crime, and the beggar for biscuits.  I got lots of them thanks to him.  

I miss you Moosie.  You were the best brother ever.  I'm so glad that I got to be with you the last 4 of your 18 wonderful years.  

My Mommy and our Daddy still cry over you being gone... so know you are missed.  

See you in Heaven soon... can you believe I turned 15 in October?!?  I don't think I look a day over 5!

Moose & Baby enjoying a ride on the pontoon boat at the Hilbun farm (Mississippi)

Much love to you, 

Baby

Valentine's Day History

Happy Valentines Day!  

The ultimate Love... John 3:16

Enjoy this video of a brief history of Valentines day from the History Channel.  

the ad is 30 seconds if you can skip it

click the link below and enjoy.  

Valentine's Day History from the History Channel

Handmade Gifts

Have you ever received a handmade gift and been caught off guard a bit?

Not many of us may be sure how to receive such a gift.  It was well meant, but maybe not to one's taste or home decor.

My husband and I have taken time to create gifts for folks, really keep them in mind as we create them, give them, only to find, that it was well meant, but apparently not to their taste or decor.  We try to take it in stride But... just some thoughts on handmade items.

I made this blanket for friends of ours (who appreciated it by the way).

Blanket and photo by Tracy Hilbun

I knew I could get something off their baby registry within my budget, but these are good friends and people.  I wanted to take that budget and give more love.  So, I took the money that I would have spent on the registry and bought yarn, crochet hook, and my love and time.  Also, I prayed over that baby that I was preparing the blanket for.  So as I crocheted, I prayed.

If you have purchased soft yarn for baby items, you have noticed that yarn is not inexpensive.  Also, how do you put a price on someone's time?  Right now, my husband and I both commute about 70 miles, one way, to work.  So we spend roughly 3 hours of our day in the car, on top of our work day.  Because we get up at 4:30 am, we need to hit the sack pretty early.  We shoot for 8:30 pm.  Since we get home, on a day he isn't away working his 2nd and 3rd jobs, around 4:30 pm, that leaves a 4 hour window to walk and feed the dog, recover from sitting in the car and stressing over bad drivers, catch up on the day, cook and eat supper, and maybe some down time or house cleaning (yeah right).  Long story short, too late, we don't have much spare time where we're not kind of exhausted.  =)

How can you put a price on the time and the love going into hand made work? You can't.

You may have some friends that create handmade items as a business so they can be stay at home moms, save for retirement, make some extra money on the side because their kids are in day care or college, or they are artists and just need to create.  Not only is their work quality in skill and supplies, it's quality in heart.  It's also art!  They may have shared some of their art as gifts to you!

Now I hope you are looking forward to receiving some handmade gifts.

What handmade items do you make?  I'd love to see them!  Do you like giving them as gifts, like we do?

One of Those Days

Sigh...

Well, I listened to ziglar on my long journey home, walked Baby dog, got the chicken in the oven and took 20 minutes to sit and stare.

Sitting and staring is one of my favorite stress relievers. I reward myself from a worry filled and noisy day with silence and looking at beautiful things.

I end my staring and pray.

God is faithful. I'm so grateful for His love and grace.

Thank you Lord, that my future is in Your hands.

Photo by Tracy Hilbun

When All Through the House... (Twas the Night Before Christmas sort of)

I came across this silly story a few weeks ago.  After my father and grandfather passed away, it was just my grandma, mom, daughter and I left in the house.  My grandma loved the story, "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and could recite it by heart!  So we started reading it Christmas Eve along with the real Christmas story in Luke 2.  I wrote this, one year, just to help lighten the night and give us a good giggle.  I very much miss my mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa.  Heaven sure is lucky!

Baby Kelly and Santa 1994

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

not a creature was stirring, thank you Mr. Cookie, NO MOUSE!

Kelly's ballet tights were hung in the laundry with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas would bring her a new pair.

Mamma couldn't wait to get Kelly nestled in her bed,

so Kelly could have visions of the sugar plum fairy dance choreographed in her head.

Great Grandma in her hair net and Grandma in her sweater

Had just settled down and decided to turn down the heater.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter.

Kelly  almost killed herself, getting out of bed, to see what was the matter.

Away to the window she jumped and leaped,

Up shot the blinds, where Kelly and Baby peeped.

There was not a full moon, nor any fallen snow.

No luster of mid day to see the yard below.

But then Baby let out a little "woof"

right before Kelly heard something on the roof!

OMG!

Could it be!!???!!

Kelly and Baby ran to the living room, lickety split

They knew it just had to be St. Nick!

Kelly and Baby just couldn't stand it.

They wanted to see Santa, but knew they needed to be quiet.

Down the chimney he came , bumping his elbow.

He stepped off the hearth and then stubbed his toe.

Kelly rolled on the floor with quiet laughter

Baby pranced at the joke and her feet made a patter

Santa couldn't get over himself

He laughed and laughed like when he saw "Elf"

Kelly knew she was caught and her tummy did sink

Just then Santa turned and gave her a wink

Kelly was relieved

and was grateful, she still believed.

Kelly thought he was about to pick his nose

when up the chimney he rose

Kelly and Baby ran to the window practically in a fight

Then they heard Santa say, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."  

my furry children

photo by Tracy Hilbun

My Best Friend

You bind up my broken heart.
You use pretty band aids (pink with hearts)
You help me understand that God's favor surrounds me and you comfort me.

Your shoulder is always available for me to cry on.
You don't mind that I get sniffy, red and blotchy, and sometimes irrational.
You still think I am beautiful as you wipe away my tears and dust off my shoes.
You adorn me with a crown and clothe me in a lovely robe.

I thank you for helping me rebuild my house and saving me from the rubble and ruin.
Soon it will be a showplace that reflects your splendor.
You hold my hand and show me how to use the tools.
You take my fear of getting hurt and make me brave.

I remain in your unending love for me.
You love me enough to lay down your life for me.
Only you can love me this much.  YOU CHOSE ME!!
Together we can overcome any obstacle.

I love you.  You are my best friend.

This is why I love Mondays!!

Pizza Mondays

I really enjoy pizza Mondays.  Or sometimes Japanese Mondays.  Okay, I just really enjoy Monday afternoons around 4:30pm til 7:30.

Live Each Moment Like Your Last

What if tomorrow is too late?

Why do we get so caught up in our fears and worry, that we just can't live each moment to the fullest?  Everyone in our lives has been placed there for a purpose.  God has gone before us and prepared the way.  Regardless of how they treat us, love us, don't love us, ignore us, spend time with us... they are all created by God, living their own purpose and helping us learn and become stronger to live out or destinies. 


Life really is too short.  Go for it.  If God is in it, no one can stop it.

Tomorrow may be too late.

Kelly in Frankenstein and Contemporary Works

As Elizabeth, dancing with the monster

one of the contemporary pieces - Commander

SBT's A Very Grinchy Christmas and New Contemporary Works

Kelly as Cindy Lou Who photo Liticia Weissinger

Kelly on the right - photo Liticia Weissinger

Kelly in a contemporary Swan Lake photo Liticia Weissinger

Kelly and Brandon Chitwood photo Liticia Weissinger

We Scattered Mom's Ashes

Right after mom passed away, my brother suggested we all meet up to scatter mom's ashes the 4th of July weekend.  As this was planned in March, it seemed so far off!  March, I was numb but thankfully busy with Kelly's dance.  April, more dance, packing with the help of my sister then our move.  May, we got the necessities unpacked, traveled to High Point, NC for SERBA (Kelly was amazing), Mother's Day, my birthday (both emotional and the least celebrated ever),  finals and school ending, recital rehearsals... Then June - slight more unpacking, but if I had any free time I used it to rest or mope, then all of the sudden it was time for our trip.  It actually surprised me that it was time.
We planned to scatter mom's ashes in Gatlinburg, TN.  The same place we scattered dad's.  Mom's private memorial was sweet and not as eventful as Dad's.  I think she wanted it that way.  We listened to the Mamas and the Papas in her honor, we all said a little something, took turns scattering her ashes, then did some needed crying and hugging.  It was bittersweet.  Not closure, but another necessary step forward.

photo by Tracy Kaluba

I miss you mom.  Symbolically, you are with dad again in the mountains forever... but I know I will meet you both again someday in our Heavenly home.

16 Candles

Happy Sweet 16 baby girl!  You are the world to me.  I pray this is your best year yet.  I hope your dreams and your hopes arrive to you soon.  You are such a blessing.  So sweet, so considerate, so loving of everyone.  God created you for a purpose.  He loves you even more than you know.  You go and do your best, love others, and honor God.  Everything will fall into place.

I love sweet Kelly.  All the way to Heaven!  Mom