I Miss You Mom - Grief Never Ends

Grief Never Ends

Mom's prayer box

Both of my parents left me too young. My father passed away in 2006 at age 67. My mother passed away in 2010 at age 68. Losing my father was a shock, in many ways.  Particularly being present and holding his hand as he walked into the arms of Jesus.  But there was no time to grieve as my mom quickly moved her parents in with us and we became caregivers to them over the next few years. During that time, my mother's health situation dramatically declined and there I was again...holding the hand of my other parent as she walked into the arms of Jesus.

All too young to leave their granddaughters. But that's another sad story (well, 3 stories)

The granddaughters, from L to R Holly, Kelly, Kristen 2013 at Kelly's high school graduation

I know I'm not the only person to lose a parent. I know I am not the youngest person to lose a parent...but my grief is unique. I grieve differently than my brother and differently than my sister. And that's okay. My grief symptoms range from a teary eyed spell coming out of nowhere to crying for a while when I see a photo or remember a time in my youth. I get sick this time of year, almost every year. My immune system gets weakened. My grief symptoms change throughout the years but are still present, and that's okay.

If you are grieving, my heart goes out to you.  No one truly understands unless they have lost too.

I'm grateful for my support system that prays for me and lets me, be me, during this time. I'm grateful they still love me afterwards. Mostly, I am grateful to not be an orphan. Father God is always with me.  

Prayer for my family and me:  I pray that we will feel His love around us today and every day.  That He would strengthen us, give us His peace and rest, and protect our health and loved ones.  That He would encamp His angels around us.  I pray that we would daily express our gratitude to Him and how He's always there for us, blessed us, and taken care of us.  In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen!

Me and my dad in 1989 at my brother's wedding.  

My mom and me in 2009, just days after her 68th birthday.

My Best Friend

You bind up my broken heart.
You use pretty band aids (pink with hearts)
You help me understand that God's favor surrounds me and you comfort me.

Your shoulder is always available for me to cry on.
You don't mind that I get sniffy, red and blotchy, and sometimes irrational.
You still think I am beautiful as you wipe away my tears and dust off my shoes.
You adorn me with a crown and clothe me in a lovely robe.

I thank you for helping me rebuild my house and saving me from the rubble and ruin.
Soon it will be a showplace that reflects your splendor.
You hold my hand and show me how to use the tools.
You take my fear of getting hurt and make me brave.

I remain in your unending love for me.
You love me enough to lay down your life for me.
Only you can love me this much.  YOU CHOSE ME!!
Together we can overcome any obstacle.

I love you.  You are my best friend.